Argue With Your Teenager

The symptoms of ADHD in adolescents result in a number of complications. Consider for a moment the various questions and problems that most adolescents are confronted to of such as:

* Their identity.

* Fitting in with their peers.

* Stress and anxiety about examinations, etc.

* Their physical development and changes

Conflicts with their parents and other figures by authorities

Now take into account the fact that the young person with add/ADHD to experience of these at the same time they try to cope with the disorder. Children with add/ADHD do not react how children without the disorder could these types of questions. For example, they may react more acute. This is because they very often have lower levels of tolerance which means they feel these issues so that they can cause to feel overwhelmed.

In addition, children with add/ADHD also tend to experience more problems when it comes to self-esteem and self image. According to the research and studies for add/ADHD adolescents, there is a higher instance of conflict between them and their parents. Interestingly, the highest rate of conflicts between adolescent ADHD tends to involve their mothers more often than their fathers.

If you have an adolescent ADHD and you have problems, first of all, breathe deeply, and realize that power struggles are not the answer to this problem. Although the symptoms of ADHD in adolescents result in struggles such as these there are better ways to deal with them. For example, if your teenager does not want to take their medication ADHD, it is preferable that you do not argue with them, try to dominate them, force them to take, etc. Instead, ask your teen why they do not want to take their medication. It may be that they simply keep forgetting to do so. If this is the case, you can discuss ways to resolve this issue with them. Invite their comments in the resolution of the issue, instead of directing them to not remember. Teens are very socially and you will find perhaps your ADO is simply ill at ease on their medication. They may not want their friends to know. If this is the case, why not discuss the issue with your baby's doctor. There are formulations extended release available today that will ensure that your child does not have to worry about their medication, while they are at school.

To combat the symptoms of ADHD in adolescents, keep in mind that what works for smaller or more young children may not work so well for the young person. For example, using techniques of behaviour as maps stellar management or reward systems simply do not resonate with them longer. They reached a level of maturity that should be considered. Teens learn to find their way in life, to exercise their authority. Rather than deal with a list of chores that they need to do, or a list of rules which are not negotiable, try being more flexible. Chances are that your ADHD adolescent is more likely to listen to and to hold in your rules if you invite their comments and remain open to negotiation.

If you are confronted with problematic behaviour there are ways to cope. Try to refrain from focus on the negatives. Take account of what they do well and be generous with your praise. Don't be not too serious. A good sense of humour can do miracles provided that the child does not become the butt of the joke. Let your teen to understand that their behavior has consequences but do combat is not with them in each small problem. This is when you should be able to pick your battles. These questions are not really important can be ignored. Forget step that they grow up and everything that will make them feel more as an adult will probably produce positive results. Therefore, you should consider offering them specific choices.

Should also consider the manner in which treat you ADHD in your adolescent. For example, your expectations are too high? Do you tend to make assumptions and conclusions? Discuss the problems that arise in a calm manner and suggest possible solutions to the problems that will work for you and your teen. Be sure to participate in this process. It is essential that you keep the lines of communication open.

You want to learn more about how the manifest symptoms of ADHD in adolescents ? Would you be interested in learning an exciting natural homeopathic remedy that can help you to treat ADHD in your ADO? If so, please take a moment to visit my website at: http://www.adhd-treatment-info.com/, where I will tell you more safe and effective remedy. By V K Rajagopalan, proudly and actively healthy natural life supporting.

Do you need help with teenager problems but you're about ready to give up trying? Have you had more than enough of the angry cursing by your child, enough of the hollering at each other; which does no good, enough of receiving just total disrespect from your teen?

Don't quit. There is professional help available at an extremely affordable cost. I'm talking less than you would spend for dinner at a restaurant for two people. I'd like to share with you information about an ebook and an ongoing program we've discovered that can really help the relationship between you and your child improve quickly. I mean days, not weeks and months.

Let me tell you a bit about myself. My wife and I raised 5 children, 4 boys and 1 girl. Yes, we experienced some very significant problems when they were going through their teen years. I'm talking about disrespect, substance abuse, alcohol abuse, even jail time. I wish we had the program that I want to tell you about, then. Our family is all grown up now and everything is fine.

Now let me get to the program we've discovered. Here's a quote from Mark, the creator of this program, "The problem is that most parents of strong-willed, out of control teenagers have tried very hard to regain control -- but with little or no success. And it seems the harder the parent tries, the more the teenager "acts-out." Mark has spent the majority of his adult life preparing to help and actually helping build, or re-build, understanding and respect between parents or guardians and troubled teenagers.

Mark has a Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology and has been employed in the field for almost 20 years. He calls the program, "Online Parent Support" (OPS). It's based on his personal experience in helping teens and parents everywhere.

Here is a list of some of the problems that Mark addresses in his material:

Does your child often:

· lose his temper

· argue with adults

· refuse to comply with rules and requests

· deliberately annoy people

· blame others for his mistakes and misbehavior

Is your child often:

· touchy and easily annoyed by others

· angry and resentful

· spiteful and vindictive

All of the above problems and hundreds more are covered in the OPS program. You'll not only receive Mark's ebook, "My Out-of-Control Teen" (Help for Parents With Strong-Willed, Out-of-Control Kids), you'll also receive live audio recordings, Power Point Presentations, and Videos.

Now here's an additional unexpected feature of the OPS program. You'll also receive Mark's toll free phone number and his cell phone number. You'll be able to get answers and help to solve your specific questions and circumstances.

Needless to say, Mark is very serious about providing this help to you as a caring parent. You owe it to yourself and your child to find out more about the OPS program.

Please don't wait. Everyday that goes by without the knowledge and guidance that is available to you will be harder on both your and your child. Mark also offers a guarantee on his OPS program. Here's what he says in his own words, "If for any reason you aren't thrilled and satisfied with your purchase, just contact me within 365 days (that's right - one year!) and I'll give you a 100% prompt and courteous refund - no questions asked!"

I know you know how important it is to educate yourself on how to be most helpful in guiding your troubled teen in the best direction. There is more information at the website of a friend of mine. Please learn more by checking it out. I believe you'll be glad you did. Take action now.

It seems sometimes like your child goes to bed one night as your precious little angel and wakes up the next morning as an alien being. It's the only explanation for the rude behavior of a teenager, right? An alien invaded your child's body when you weren't looking.

In a way, it's true...but it's not aliens, it's hormones. When puberty strikes, your teen's rude behavior does too. There are so many different emotions and conflicts going on inside your teen that it can be difficult to cope. There are strategies you can use to help curtail your teen's rude behavior and keep your sanity at the same time.

Whether your teen's rude behavior comes in the form of abusive words and rude language or the sometimes more frustrating behavior of ignoring you, arguing, or talking back the first step to cutting the behavior short is to immediately address it - and not by being rude back or raising your voice or getting frustrated.

The best way to chill teen behavior is to remain calm and speak in an almost business-like manner. Tell your teen that the words or behavior they are using is unacceptable, that choosing to behave that way will result in consequences, and then follow through.

The follow through is the most important thing. If your teen's rude behavior comes from something like using the cell phone at the table when it's time for family dinner, take the phone. If your teen tries to keep you from getting the phone, don't get physical; simply call the cell phone company and suspend the service for a day or two. Most teens will get the point rather quickly that the way they choose to behave will have direct and immediate consequences.

It's important that you understand that even well behaved teens will have a bad day, say something smart, or talk back occasionally. You have to be willing to have balance. Let your teen grow and stretch his or her wings, finding his or her voice, but keep your teen from crossing the line.

As with a lot of parenting tips, the best place to begin is with the parents serving as role models for the behavior that they would like to see in children. In and out of the home, if your teen sees you using rude behavior, he or she will most likely repeat it. When you have made it clear what you consider as rude behavior then you can set the consequence that makes the most sense, either taking away the cell phone, the computer, nights out with friends, or video games.

Rude behavior and teenager sometimes seem synonymous, but they don't have to be. You can make it clear to your teen that their own behavior dictates what privileges they will have and what level of trust you will have in them. Teenagers don't have to be rude; set the right tone, tolerate the occasional emotional outburst, and teach them coping tools to get through one of the most tumultuous times of their lives.

For more valuable information by parenting expert, Norbert Georget, go to PARENTING TEENAGERS TODAY. You will find all the answers you'll need to Parenting A Teenager.

Do not operate punish its conferences, supporting, pleading, rewarding and shout - you tried. Rather than trying to find the right positive or negative intervention, consider a solution in a completely different context. Rather than attempting to apply outside motivation, try it elicit Interior. The best way to do so is by exploring and developing the divergence of your youth, the difference between their goals and their actual performance.

For non-motivated children, it is quite common for them to say one thing ("I want to get good grades to") and another (do not complete duties). It is this discrepancy that you want to explore. Parents in general it by becoming upset, screeching comments such as "How can you expect to do the same when you do any work at home?" How you never expect succeed? You'll never experiment for good grades being so lazy. "Although each of these statements may be true and clearly identify inconsistencies in their teens, they are not useful or motivating. Here are a few guidelines to effectively develop this divergence.

Be curious. Ask questions, but do not question. Your questions should indicate a fresh curiosity. Like most parents, your typical examination indicates that there is only one acceptable answer for you. Instead, you can be bewildered or confused by the difference rather than upset by it. For example, I am curious, you said that you wanted to do really well in school this semester, but I see that you made few duties. Is there something that I do not understand? "I am a little confused". Or "there appears to be a difference between what you say you want and what you're doing." "Is it a problem that blocks your progress?

Be gentle. Do not take a one - up, authoritarian, approach book. Rather, approach the conversation as if you know nothing and simply want to understand view of your adolescent. Keep your quiet voice. Do not impose your point of view on them.

Listen. Teens are very used to be spoken to but unused to be listened to. Just listen, the judgment of restraint and as clearly as you do your best understand are vital to the process of motivation. You may not agree with them; Keep your judgments to yourself. They are already well aware of your good advice and know what you want that they would be; to simply repeat is not useful.

Remember, acceptance facilitates change. Keep in mind that the motivation is more a question of relations, as a personal quality of your adolescent. The steps listed above are essential aspects of this relationship of motivation.

Dennis Bumgarner, ACSW, LCSW is a family adviser who consulted with their parents for more than 35 years. He is the creator of the video training "get the behavior you want your child" and the DVD "Kindness, courtesy and Respect" of parents for children. In addition, he is the author of "Motivate your Intelligent but unmotivated adolescent." He is in demand as a trainer for parents, schools and social service organizations and has provided hundreds of presentations of training across the country.

Believe it or having a lie in a Saturday and Sunday morning could keep the problems of weight in the Bay.

A recent study found that adolescents who are delayed weekend are less likely to suffer from weight problems.

Researchers at the Chinese University of Hong Kong wanted to know if catch up sleep weekend helped children overcome the problems of weight. They questioned 5000 parents on their children eat, weight, lifestyle and habits of sleep. They found that the dormie average hours was more than 9 hours, but some of the children received less than 8 hours. After that factoring within hours, who was sleeping at the end of the week, they found that children who did not catch up with their sleep were more likely to have the largest jump.

The researchers concluded that additional hours in bed the weekend could be important to "reset" the child sleep patterns.

There are probably some out there that will support with this reports findings that the less time you spend wake up the less chance you have "raids on the refrigerator. But there are some scientific findings between sleep and your metabolism. The fewer hours that you sleep down your metabolism and you're inclined to eat more because you are awake for long hours.

So go easy on your young this weekend, that they could be good idea. But for those of you y are not so lucky to have children who are on (like mine) you partially fault them for your weight problems:.

If you want to learn more about how to achieve your weight loss goals, I invite you to visit http://www.EscapeFromFat.com now and check our extensive collection of advice from weight loss free, articles and advice and pick up a free copy of the "177 Easy ways to burn and reduce Calories."

Many adolescents will enter into relationships and become uncertain and sometimes jealous. Some teens will find flapping their boyfriend or girlfriend over very stupid things and they are sometimes even imagine. Much of the insecurity of time comes from your childhood and much of the time of his previous reports or experience that wasnt a good experience.

I have a friend and it's history.

He met this girl when he was 17 and he has been with it since then and it is now 22. When they met he was telling me how happy they were together and after approximately 1 year he told me his friend always become jealous and insecurity on some people what petty things.

He spoke about his suitor with him because he had a friend text messages asking how it is and how his girlfriend threw his phone into a lake. Text messages said were purely innocent and he has not yet responded to them.

He also told me about 2 years in their relationship how his girlfriend was accusing him of fancying people left right and center when he gave no reason at all to be jealous or worry about what he was doing.

It is now split with his girlfriend because of all the arguing about things that he has never and has been accused of.

Insecurity is obviously not a good thing in a relationship, especially when there is no reason to be and what are some tips on how to deal with precarious or jealous:

1. Try sitting with your partner and talk about your love for one another. Share your feelings and tell them that you feel.

2. The purchase a nice from time to time gift to make them feel special as insecurity occurs sometimes in reason to feel left out or special steps.

3 Take him out with you all the time when you will place, you can both enjoy yourself. Sitting inside supporting Won ' t help.

4. If you feel uncertain and are subject to snap, calm yourself by going into another room and be thinking to yourself about how you feel and how to behave as sometimes insecure/jealous of people may behave erratically.

5 Spend more time with each other.

6 Let his knowledge that take you care of their regularly and always show affection when one of the yous are down.

7. Many non-secure people can have insecurities about their bodies and their appearance, added one another on how to help the eyes of one another.

8 Positive stay, try do step to make each other feel negative relations and doing positive things together.

9 Mutually give your ideas on life and paths in life you are all two suite, discuss what you feel the life you live too much with each other.

10 Try to bicker and argue, discuss your questions.

To overcome insecurity and jealousy you both need to trust each other, and without trust your relationship will be very rocky. You should reward one another with magnet acts and say are mutually large yous how.

Insecurity and jealousy can be a very complex thing in which two people must work their way autour. Some people naturally becomes jealous and others not, just work on your relationship and it end up as my friends.

If you distrust your girlfriend or boyfriend and then work to trust them, it will help your relationship so.

Thank you for reading...

Forums for adolescents

If you take a moment to look at what is going on with the angry teenager in your household, you come up against pretty daunting changes which are really testing his limits and yours! There are the bodily changes, hormonal storms, peer pressure, academic stress and a desire to test out new freedoms and become independent at last. There is a great impetus to break away from the irksome parental control which he or she has had to put up with for the last fifteen years or so.

The angry teenager is still seething and erupts at the slightest provocation. The banging of doors, the sullen and sulky silences and an overall unwillingness to even talk to you, the bewildered parent. Here are some suggestions to help you and him to get out of the wilderness.

Strangely enough, the first thing that parents should try to do is to open the lines of communication although that may seem difficult when doors are being slammed. However there will be calmer moments and that is a great chance to let them talk and tell you a few things. All we have to do is just listen. That will make a nice change from lecturing, nagging and warning!

I know some parents who always advocate a cooling off period and winding down time as soon as they get home which applies to everybody in the family. There is no talking or arguing or any discussion at all for at least half an hour.

That gives the angry teenager and yourself time to change and begin to adjust to coming home again. Other parents I knew were just dreading going home because they knew they would be picked on as soon as they walked in the door.

Once the lines of communication are open you can try and establish what is hurting or frustrating your teen and why he is reacting like this. Talk about how he feels, his reactions and then ask if there are other ways he can deal with this very strong emotion which is understandable but which is creating enormous difficulties within the family unit. Hopefully, that will make him reflect and he may react differently the next time with a calmer reaction.

These are just two or three ways we can approach the angry teenager. The whole set of strategies is set out in a home study course on child behavior modification. The emphasis is on giving the teenager coping skills for life and helping him to be accountable and to take responsibility for all his actions.

As this study at home course will save you hundreds of dollars in consultant's fees, it really does make sense to consider using this when you are faced with defiant and angry kids. I know parents who have followed these strategies and were amazed when they got results that they had never dreamed possible.

Tearing your hair out because of outbursts, defiant and aggressive behavior? Experts now tell us that child behavior modification or simply learning strategies for effective parenting is the best possible way on how to deal with an angry teenager.

Robert Locke has written extensively on parenting and behavior issues for many years.
For more child behavior help, visit:- http://problemkidsblog.blogspot.com

Parents who are concerned that their teenager is very self absorbed are not alone in their concerns or worry. The reason for such noticeable self absorption in teenagers is related to their developmental stage. Feeling as though the world revolves around them is part of the normal developmental process for teenagers. It does not mean that it won't drive you crazy and cause you to be worried, but what it does mean is that your teenager is not doing anything out of the ordinary if they are presenting as self absorbed.

Some of the more obvious forms of self absorption parents may notice in their teens are the following:

1. They will not admit they are wrong and do not want your valuable advice: parents will often notice their teens struggling or making significant mistakes, yet they will not admit it and will not allow themselves to be helped by others. Often times they would rather pretend things are fine or argue with you that they are fine than to tell you they need help.

2. They will defend friends you do not approve of just to prove you wrong: this can be really frustrating for parents. Teens will often defend their friend's behaviors to you as though they were their own behaviors. Teenagers want to feel that they have good judgment and will often not fully see all aspects of a situation for fear of being wrong or of being judged. In addition, teens want to have control and choosing their friends is an area where teens want to maintain full control.

3. They will not see how their behavior impacts others: this can be very upsetting to parents. I have heard parents express fears that their teen will not be a good person or will end up hurting others because they cannot see how their actions impact others. It is good to keep in mind that this is a normal phase of adolescence and that most teens grow out of this way of thinking.

4. They cannot understand that they cannot always get what they want, when they want it: this is directly related to teens wanting immediate gratification in addition to them viewing their needs as more important than the needs of others. So...even with you rationally explaining why you don't have money to get them a new video game because there are household bills to pay, they may still not appear to understand. This can be really infuriating to parents who are trying to teach their children the importance of budgeting. In addition, they may not understand why you cannot drop everything you are doing at a particular moment to drive them to their friend's house. This is equally as frustrating because it leaves parents feeling unappreciated and undervalued.

5. They do not want to participate in family events or holidays anymore: this is generally very hurtful and stressful for parents who place a lot of value on family. I have seen parents so hurt at the thought that their teenager would rather be with friends or in their room on the computer than participating in a family dinner, birthday party or holiday. This is related to teens seeing their friends as the most important people in their lives and being fearful of missing out on something with a friend if they take time to participate in a family related function.

The good news is that these behaviors are the result their current phase of development and that most teens grow out of such behaviors. The bad news is that this phase can be extremely frustrating for parents in the moment. Some suggestions which can help parents manage such apparent self absorption:

1. Remember it is a phase and will pass - just keeping this in mind can help parents see it as a normal part of growing up which can make it a little less stressful.

2. Don't take things personally - generally teens are not doing anything to be intentionally hurtful -they are just self absorbed and cannot see how they are impacting others. They are doing what feels best for them in the moment and are not intentionally doing anything to make others feel worse.

3. Pick your battles - if you try to address everything about your teenager that you find troublesome you will likely be engaged in a constant argument with them. Rather, figure out which things are most important (Thanksgiving dinner versus a summer cookout with the family) and stress those with your teen while acknowledging their interest in doing other things. This can also help teach them the art of compromise.

4. Set clear limits and stick with them - this is especially helpful for situations where you teen wants what they want, when they want it. If you are clear about how much they have for allowance or what you will and will not do in terms of providing them transportation AND you stick to what you say you will do, they will be less likely to continue to bring it up or try to get you to give in to them.

5. Know that they will hear your advice and follow your role modeling - even if they will not admit to it...they do listen to what you have to say (at least some of the time!) and they do observe your actions. Being a positive, consistent role model plays an important part in shaping your teenager as they move into adulthood.

© 2009 Elite Life Coaching

For more information on Life Coaching or coaching for parents please visit [http://elite-life-coaching.com] or email Karen@elite-life-coaching.com.

My name is Karen Vincent. I am a Certified Life Coach as well as a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker with a Masters Degree from Boston University. I have worked with teenagers / adolescents and their parents for the last 15 years in a variety of settings, including outpatient therapy, specialized schools, and in the home.

I have developed and conducted numerous parenting classes and support workshops specific to parents of teens. I have also created and presented training for professional staff including teachers, therapists and counselors who work with adolescents in Massachusetts, Connecticut and in New York City.

In my work, I partner with parents (usually through phone calls) who are experiencing difficulties in connecting with their teenage children and who are struggling to manage social, emotional or behavioral issues which arise during the teenage years. Through working with me, parents are able to:

• work through any self doubt they are having about their parenting

• develop action plans for addressing their areas of concern

• develop new ways of parenting their teens effectively

• discover new ways of connecting effectively with their teens

• eliminate sleepless nights and worries while Restoring Peace of Mind During the Teenage Years

Please call for a free Coaching Consultation: 774-245-7775

Every child shows anger and defiance from time to time. And he should! If he doesn't, there's something wrong. It's just part of the normal process of getting through adolescence, on the way to adulthood.

It's a matter of degree. If you have a consistently angry teenager, one who has become withdrawn and sarcastic, who thinks you don't know anything, who won't follow the rules and is just generally difficult and defiant-that's more than just a phase. Now you have a real issue that needs to be dealt with. If you can't get it fixed, you risk ending up with a troubled, angry, adult who can't maintain relationships, stay married, or even handle financial matters well. This is according to a recent study that tracked angry, defiant kids for 40 years, to see what happened to them.

In the meantime, you're still responsible for him, and he's in your home, making your life a living hell-and of course he's in great pain, too. You want to help him (or her), but you don't seem to know how. Every attempt you make to relate, or just to spend time, or find out what's going on, what's wrong, why he's angry-- is rebuffed, or ends up in another fight.

When the level of anger and defiance and rule-breaking becomes extreme, and lasts for more than six months, your child may have "Oppositional Defiant Disorder", or "ODD".

SYMPTOMS:

1. Repeated temper tantrums

2. Constant arguing with adults

3. Refusal to comply with rules and requests

4. Deliberately annoying others

5. Easily annoyed by others

6. Blaming others for his or her mistakes

7. Frequent outbursts of resentment and anger

8. Spiteful and revenge-seeking behavior

9. Saying mean or hateful things

If not dealt with, ODD can escalate into aggressive behavior towards others or toward animals, such as fighting, bullying and cruelty. It can also lead to destructive behavior such as arson or vandalism. At this level, you're dealing with a more difficult problem, called "Conduct Disorder" (CD). These children usually have little or no remorse and feel no guilt about hurting others. This, of course, is a serious emotional and behavioral disorder which demands early and effective treatment. Drug abuse, violent and criminal behavior, and suicide are often preceded by unresolved Conduct Disorder.

CAUSE:

The precise cause of ODD and CD isn't known, but it's probably a combination of genetic, biological, social and environmental factors.

1 Genetic: Many youngsters with ODD and CD have family members who have mental illnesses, which suggests that the disorders can be inherited.

2 Biological: It's believed that defects or injuries to the brain, or brain chemicals (neurotransmitters) being out of balance can lead to ODD and CD. Also, many children and adolescents with these defiant disorders also have ADHD, learning disorders, or depression.

3 Social: Low socio-economic status and poor peer relationships seem to be associated with ODD and CD, especially Conduct Disorder.

4 Environmental: Dysfunctional family life; inconsistent and overly-punitive, or even cruel parental discipline; mental illness in a parent; or substance abuse in the family may contribute to ODD/CD.

If your teen, or even pre-teen, is evidencing symptoms of ODD, it's most important to seek care immediately. ODD is bad enough. You certainly don't want to see an escalation into Conduct Disorder.

If you haven't already gotten one, an evaluation by a child psychologist is indicated. You need to find out, as best you can, what is underlying the defiance and anger of your angry teenager. Is there ADHD, or depression, or a frustrating or self-confidence-crushing situation with peers or at school that he or she doesn't know how to deal with? Do you yourself have an anger problem? An angry, out-of-control parent is terribly upsetting and frightening to a child, and can contribute to his fear and lack of self-esteem, which gets expressed as anger.

There are several different types of therapy and counseling, not to mention dozens of books, and CDs and DVDs which can offer guidance. There are also a number of programs available through colleges, hospitals, and online.

Bob Harvey enjoys writing on health and family issues, and also enjoys uncovering existing resources and helping give them wider distribution. For more on "Angry Teens", visit Teens Trouble

It is not that easy to raise a child these days, what more if you are raising a teenager? Yes, my heart goes out to you if you are currently having a hard time dealing with your lying teenager. Now, in this article, we will give you 2 tips on how to deal with a lying teenager. Read on!

If you think that your child is now doing things and hiding them from you, then the best way to go about it, and to stop your child from doing this to you is by following the 2 tips on how to deal with a lying child.

1. So you caught your child hiding things from you and lying about it as well. Then there is no need to go ballistic on your child. This will only result in your child wanting to be more secretive than ever. This will also lead to more arguments between the two of you. So the best way to go about it, is by simply talking to your child. Try to find out why your child is now lying to you. Try to make him feel that he/she can always come to you not just as a parent but as a friend as well. Allow your child to open up to you by LISTENING. If you do this, then there will be no more of the lying games that your child is playing with you.

2. Your child is mad at you, maybe because you grounded him/her. Now, because of this your teenager starts to do things behind your back. Thinking that no amount of reasoning with you will help him/her, so your child resorts to lying. Now, do not let this be your case. You have to explain to your child why he/she got grounded in the first place. And that it is not necessary to lie to you. You have to put down your walls, and try to be there for your teenager. You also have to remember that this phase in your child's life is all about rebellion. So do not push your child away. Talk to your child!

It is not that easy to be a teenager, and it is not that easy to be a teenager's parent. To avoid arguing with your teenager, then the best way to do so is by opening a line for your child to be able to communicate with you openly.

These are 2 tips on how to deal with a lying teenager.

Are you frustrated and exhausted from arguing constantly with an oppositional, defiant child? Do you "walk on eggshells" around your child, avoiding conflicts that will "set him off?" Have you tried everything to stop the hostility, anger and aggression and all you get is more of it?

It doesn't have to be like this! In just 5 minutes you could hold the answer of oppositional defiant disorder treatment in your hands...visit http://oppositionaldefiantdisordertreatment.net

I think most parents would agree that parenting a teenager is a unique and complex job that offers both joy and frustration to their lives. If you add an behavior defiant or out of control teen to the mix, things get a little bit more difficult. Nevertheless, as their parent, you need to do what you can to help your teen make it through adolescence while still maintaining a happy, healthy relationship with you, his parent. The question then becomes "How do I do that?" My answer is general, and two-fold.

1. Continue to get guidance and learn new tips and techniques for dealing with your teenagers specific areas of difficulty.

2. Choose to possess the qualities of relentlessness and unconditional love in your parenting of them, no matter what. What I mean is decide today that you will never give up on them, on helping them, or on parenting them. If you do, whom else will they have?

As parents, our job is to not only raise our kids up to be happy, law-abiding, contributing members of society, but also to love them unconditionally through the process. No matter how much they test us, fight us, argue with, ignore us or rebel, we must be persistent as parents. There will always be those unmanageable days...the days when we are worn out, defeated, disappointed and overwhelmed, but every day ends and a new one follows. Keep that in mind. Time is not unnumbered. There is always an end to whatever season you are in with your child. Therefore, be unrelenting as a parent.

So how can you be relentless as a parent? Quite simply, keep working on your relationship with them, and in helping them develop positive healthy characteristics within themselves that will serve them well in this world. A few things that come to mind are to stay active and involved in their life. Show an interest in the things they like, weather you like it or not. Be genuine. You love them, so enter into their world and find out what it is that they really enjoy. And then find ways to participate in that with them. For example, maybe you can go to a music concert with them, or a sporting event of some type.  Pursue them.

Another way to be relentless is to commit to constantly learning and growing in ways you can effectively parent them. None of us come into parenthood with an automatic perfect skill set to raise our children from start to finish. There is so much we do not know. And there are things we think we know, but obviously do not by the outcomes we are seeing. Being able to admit that and learn new ideas is really important. There is a lot of learning that we as parents end up doing. Being unrelenting means that when you are at a loss for what to do, that you do what it takes to get the help and the answers you need.

In conclusion, no matter how difficult your teenager is right now, keep pressing forward. Continue to love them unconditionally. They are your child.  No matter how hard a situation gets, be willing to find the help you need. It is imperative that you remain willing to continue reaching out, to keep trying, and to keep learning. It is then, that you will remain close to your child, even through those rebellious teenage years.

Tina is a happily married WAHM of 4 boys, a freelance writer and advocate for families and parents. She enjoys seeing stressed out parents and broken relationships put back together. All children need their parents, whether they know it or not. And all parents can grow in their parenting skills, just as their children grow in their ability to challenge them.

Family life is great, and if things are difficult and unhappy at home, then you must find the help you need to restore things once again. Your family can be happy, but it may take some work to get there.

If you found her tips useful and want to read more in depth material about helping your out of control child or teenager then visit her here at: Out of Control Teenager or at: Difficult Defiant Kids

How to deal with a defiant teenager? Can it even be done at all? Seemingly overnight, your once pleasant child has turned into a moody, defiant teenager, and you are left feeling hurt and angry, and doubting your skills as a parent. A defiant teenager will disrupt the harmony of the whole family!

By learning some skills on how to deal with a defiant teenager, you will get your kid listening to you and respecting you again, and get the peace back into your home!

First, always remember, that your teen does not really want to be defiant and disrespectful. He is in that awkward stage called adolescence--no longer a child, but not quite an adult yet. Yes, it is not an easy time for him or her, but then, it is not an easy time for you either! There is hope, though.

If your child is constantly texting or emailing? Take the if-you-can't-beat-'em-join-'em approach. This is one sure fire way to get to communicate again with your teen, without all of the screaming and arguing! Cell phones and the internet are here to stay, so learn these ways of communicating with your teen. He will be too amazed to argue!

Lying is another tactic of angry teens, but one that parents do not punish harshly enough. Lying absolutely must not be tolerated under any circumstances! You can learn how to gain respect from your teen again, and discipline him effectively. As the parent, you must be the one in control. Teenagers have the innate ability to make parents feel like they are doing a less than good job, and that they have no control.

Many parents have suffered through the seemingly never ending teen years, only to turn out a well rounded young adult! Arm yourself with as much information as possible, learn how to deal with a defiant teenager, and stay ahead of all of his disrespectful behavior and you too will end up with a young adult whom you can be proud of!

One of the best places you can get even more great information that will really help you learn to deal with a defiant teenager is also one of my favorite websites - visit today and get started getting your family back. Click Here: Defiant Teenager Help.

If you are trying to motivate your teenagers to change, your efforts beg the question "Why do teenagers change, anyway?" The answers to this question are critical and will help you avoid frustration while they take you in a more promising direction.

Based on motivation research, there seem to be three conditions necessary for teenagers to change their behavior:

1. Teenagers change in response to something of intrinsic value. This is why externally-applied consequences--punishments and rewards--tend not to be effective. Teenagers must connect the considered change to something of intrinsic significance in order to feel motivated to take a chance on changing. You will have little luck in motivating them without a sense of what is intrinsically important to them.

2. The teenager must be ready and willing to change. This sounds too obvious to need to be stated, but it drives home an important point: change will not be forced. If you attempt to compel a change with a teenager, you are likely to get the opposite of what you intend. And if that is not bad enough, that frustration will be accompanied by lots of discord, arguing, hostility, and general overall unpleasantness. So you have an unmotivated teenager--no positive change--with whom you now have a lousy relationship.

3. The teenager is in an environment that is characterized by safety, acceptance, and empowerment. Since the prime factor in this environment is your relationship, that relationship must be safe, accepting, and empowering in order to be motivating. While you may be displeased with their performance, you must dial back your criticism (this is the acceptance piece) and have your conversations focus more on their feelings, goals, and desires than yours. They must know that they can express themselves to you in a civil fashion and have their thoughts, perspectives, and feelings be acknowledged (this is the safety part). It is in this kind of relationship that they can feel empowered.

A mantra I teach the parents of my teenage clients is this: Acceptance facilitates change. It does not guarantee change nor direct it. But it is acceptance that gives us the freedom to take the risks to strive in a different direction. As true as this is for all of us, it is that much more true for teenagers.

So, if you want to have a truly motivating relationship with your teenagers, don't try to force the change that you want. Find out what changes they desire. Discover what is intrinsically important to them. Create the safety that promotes motivation by listening to them without criticism or judgment.

Dennis Bumgarner, ACSW, LCSW is a family counselor who has been consulting with parents for more than 35 years. He is the creator of the parent training video "Get the Behavior You Want from Your Child" as well as the DVD "Kindness, Courtesy, and Respect" for children. Additionally, he is the author of "Motivating Your Intelligent but Unmotivated Teenager." He is in demand as a trainer for parents, schools, and social service agencies and had provided hundreds of training presentations around the country.

The stress of raising a teenager can affect us in many ways. One way it can affect us is by putting a strain on other relationships in our lives. I have heard many parents of teenagers discuss that they feel like their child is coming between them and their spouse or partner. What is important in such situations is being able to recognize this and address it by changing the dynamic.

What often happens is that teenagers learn that they can create conflict between their parents as a means of taking the focus off of them. Not only do they do this but they are often very skilled at it so that parents don't even recognize what is happening. As parents, it is common that you may have different ideas about rules or how to respond to certain situations with your teenager - this is not a problem in and of itself. It becomes a problem when teenagers recognize that you are disagreeing because then they can use it to their advantage to create further conflict between you and your spouse or partner which takes the attention and focus off their behaviors. Being able to disagree privately and present as a "united front" is priceless in dealing with teenagers. In addition, it is important to not get so caught up in the stress of parenting that you forget to put time, energy and effort into your relationship with your spouse or partner. It is really important that you and your spouse or partner take time with one another and make one another a priority despite the stress and challenges you may be facing related to your teenager.

Below are some tips for parents to help keep your relationship with your spouse or partner strong while facing the stress of raising a teenager.

1. Don't argue about parenting in front of your teenager. If you remember one thing this should be it! If your teen is aware of such conflict, they will use it to their advantage which will likely create further conflict between you and your spouse. Teenagers are not doing this to be malicious, however, if they see an opportunity to get themselves out of trouble they will take advantage of it.

2. Respect your differences in parenting. Although this can be a challenge, know that having differences and being able to share different ideas can result in the best overall parenting - as long as you are able to come to some compromise. Just because your spouse or partner thinks differently than you does not make them the "bad guy". Remember that you both want what is best for your teenager and that you are acting out of love.

3. Take time for each other. Make sure you make spending time alone, without focusing on your teenager a priority. Set a date night, go to a movie, go for walks together and make sure you are still able to laugh with one another despite all the external stressors in your lives.

4. Seek professional help. If you are feeling like things are not improving or that they are getting worse in your relationship with your spouse or partner, you may want to consider seeking the professional help of a coach or counselor. This can be a very successful intervention to help you get things back on track which will result in your feeling happier and more fulfilled in all your relationships.

For more information on Life Coaching or coaching for parents please visit [http://elite-life-coaching.com] or email Karen@elite-life-coaching.com.

My name is Karen Vincent. I am a Certified Life Coach as well as a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker. I have worked with teenagers / adolescents and their parents for the last 15 years in a variety of settings, including outpatient therapy, specialized schools, over the phone and in the home.

Please call for a free Coaching Consultation: 774-245-7775

If you are currently parenting a teenager you know how frustrating and even scary it can be.

Let's face it, parenting a teenager can be confusing, too. Sometimes learning what NOT to do is easier than trying to figure out what new idea to add into your parenting style.

I have been parenting for over two decades and am currently parenting my third teenager. Based on my own experience, here are the top three worst things you can do while parenting a teenager. Just avoiding these can go a long ways towards building a successful relationship with your teenager and thereby improving the harmony of your home.

Mistake #1. Ignoring your teenager

Teenagers are intense social animals. The stage of development they're moving through is complex and confusing to them. Their days are often anything but calm and stable. As their parent, you can sense this just by being in the same room with them or listening to their conversations with their friends.

If you are uncertain as to how to guide them, in your genuine frustration you may have fallen into the trap of ignoring your teen. If you simply don't know what to say to your teen's rude facade or embarrassing questions or painful silences then you may have decided to hunker down and just try to get through these difficult years in one piece.

Mom or dad, if that description sounds familiar, please take heart. There are better and easier ways of parenting your teenager. In fact, if you are ignoring your teenager, you are choosing the most difficult path available to you, from a long-term perspective.

Let's get something straight. It's okay if you don't know what to say to your teen. What your teen needs most from you is to be *heard*. Instead of walking away when an uncomfortable conversation begins, take a deep breath, look into your teen's eyes and intensely listen. If you have been ignoring your teen for awhile, it will take some time for your teen to believe that you are really interested in them. Be persistent. You teenager will be unable to resist your offer to listen unconditionally.

Mistake #2. Avoiding problems

This is different from ignoring your teenager. As teens are maturing into young adults, they naturally explore more and more adult-type issues. Sometimes a teenager gets in over his or her head and desperately wants your help but doesn't know how to ask.

Sometimes a teen will taunt you, as their parent, with a forbidden behavior, challenging you to stand up and BE the parent.

As their parent, the best thing you can do is to face the problem head on, even if you have feelings of uncertainty yourself (and you probably will). If necessary, get professional help. Let your teenager see you are taking his or her problems seriously. Talk to them and then listen, listen, and listen.

If you find that there is a great deal of arguing going on in your household, then that needs to be the first problem you stop avoiding.

Show your teen how an adult behaves in such a situation.

* You can show your teen how to stay calm and in the moment.

* You can model quality listening.

* You can let them know that you are developing a plan of action.

* You can show them how to get help when help is needed.

Whether it's failing grades, suspected drug use, promiscuity, or speaking disrespectfully, avoiding the problem will only make it worse. That's not what you want. (If you would like more parenting teenager strategies, please see the resource box following this article.)

Mistake #3. Letting your teenager call all the shots.

If you are unsure of how to guide your teenager, you may have fallen into the habit of simply letting them do whatever they want, whenever they want.

Of course, this is a recipe for disaster.

There is a reason we adults are called to parent our children right up until the late teens.

Because they NEED parenting. Desperately.

Ideally, as a child grows he or she is slowly given more freedom and responsibility until, as a young adult, he or she is ready to take care of themselves completely.

However, since parenting is definitely an on-the-job training gig and hindsight is 20/20, many of us parents arrive at the teen years with a sense that we'd have done things differently had we known better.

That's okay. Start from where you are and move forward. Be honest with your teen and tell him you can see where changes need to be made that will benefit everyone involved.

Parenting a teenager means setting boundaries with your teenager that reflect your family's values. Enforce those boundaries consistently. Get help if you need it. Listen to and hug your teenager everyday. Don't ever give up.

In other words, be the parent. One day at a time.

Colleen Langenfeld has been parenting for over 25 years and helps other moms enjoy mothering more at http://www.paintedgold.com Visit her website and grab more parenting teenager strategies today.

Raising any teenager can be tough, but raising a defiant teenager is especially difficult. It's like a slap in the face to see the sweet child you raised morph into an angry, defiant teenager before your very eyes. Who is this person - this teenager screaming at you across the dinner table? What did you do to deserve such aggression and hostility? And, most importantly, what should you do? Should you ignore the behavior? Yell and scream yourself? Run away and hide until they are 30 and the phase has passed? While there's no one right answer, I'm hoping that the suggestions in this article will help to make dealing with your defiant teenager just a little bit easier.

First, examine the underlying factors of your teen's behavior. Many parents are in such a rush to "fix" things, that they end up treating the symptom instead of the cause. While some teenage defiant behavior is typical and even developmentally appropriate, there are many situations where the defiance is actually a symptom of something much deeper. Therefore, it is always a good idea to look closely to determine if there is a more serious issue.

Could depression be playing a factor? Are drugs or alcohol a possibility? Are new friends to blame? Or could your teen just be trying desperately to get your attention? All of these are situations that may need to be handled differently than a typical defiant teenager situation, so it is important to try to figure out the root cause of the defiance if at all possible.

Second, realize that this defiant behavior does have an upside. I know, that sounds completely crazy, but hear me out. The biggest developmental task of being a teenager is to figure out who they are as a person and to learn how to live independently. By challenging your rules and pushing the boundaries, they are practicing what it will be like in the real world, one where they will be forced to make their own decisions and think for themselves.

You have an amazing opportunity to show them the proper way to do this - to be in control of their own lives while still considering others and respecting authority. Even though it will be a long, tiring battle, if done properly, it is a battle with a purpose. Arguing with your defiant teen or watching them flat-out disobey you will probably always make you upset, but reminding yourself that this very process is shaping them into the wonderful adults they will turn out to be might make it just a little more bearable.

Third, hate the behavior...but love the teen. Although the eye rolls and backtalk might suggest differently, most teens really do yearn for attention from their parents. While this doesn't necessarily mean they would give up going to the mall with their friends to hang out with you, it does mean that all those little things that you do are noticed. Do you praise your teen for any of the positive things they are doing? Do you take time out of your day to talk to them about their interests and things that they would like to talk about? Do you keep asking them to spend quality time with you...even if they always turn you down?

These may seem minor and insignificant to you, but trust me, they may be huge to your teen. Remember when your teen was a toddler, and all the books told you to practice positive reinforcement? Well, it still holds true today! Teens would much rather be praised than fight, that much is obvious. But they would rather fight than be ignored. So make sure to take the time to show your love towards your teen. Even if it doesn't seem to make a difference to them, it'll ultimately end up making a huge difference in their behavior.

Looking for help with your teen? Visit My Out Of Control Teen - an online parent-program for those who are struggling with their teenagers.

Running away is a very scary topic for parents and for society in general. The thought of a teenager on the street with no money, no plan and no true support would keep anyone awake at night. This article offers some explanation for why teenagers run away and some suggestions for parents who are experiencing this difficult behavior from their teenager.

Teenagers who run away are not "bad" individuals, however, they are clearly making bad decisions which puts their safety at significant risk. I have worked with a lot of teens who have run away and their reasons for doing so are varied. Some of the reasons teens have said they run away include: not feeling like they belong in school or in their family, not feeling like anyone cares, trying to escape a dangerous situation (i.e. they are being abused or a caretaker is abusing substances), they are trying to let others know how much they are struggling, they were frustrated and felt like they did not have any freedom, they thought it would be fun and exciting, they thought a boyfriend / girlfriend or older peer would take care of them, they were using drugs or alcohol, they wanted to get out of a punishment and peer pressure. This is only a sampling of reasons why teens may run away so you can see that there are a lot of reasons. Sometimes the reasons are legitimate and sometimes there are perceived, however, either way they can lead to dangerous situations.

Once teenagers run away they become dependent on others for food and shelter. Most teenagers are accustomed to having these basic necessities provided for them and have not thought their runaway plan through thoroughly. Once teens realize they need a place to stay and need food they can begin making unsafe decisions. Research shows that girls who run away are likely to be approached by a pimp looking to sexually exploit them within the first forty-eight hours of being on the run (see my article titled "Teen Prostitution" for more information about the sexual exploitation of teens). Other teens may be approached by other individuals who appear to be very nice and caring but who are planning to use the teen to commit a crime, buy or sell drugs or engage in other activities which place them at risk. Some teens become hungry pretty quickly (because they are not used to ever skipping a meal) and resort to stealing which can lead them to legal trouble. Some teens become cold or scared and trespass as a means of finding shelter which can also lead them to legal trouble. Many teens resort to hitchhiking because they have not thought their plan through and have no idea how to get anywhere without a parent to drive them. I have worked with teenagers who have run away and after about twenty minutes realize they are scared or cold and return back home with an apology, however, I have also worked with teenagers who have faced some of the scenarios above which have caused them some pretty significant trauma and which have caused their parents indescribable stress, worry and heartbreak.

As a parent, there are some things you can do that may help prevent your teenager from running away. You will notice that on the list below there is not anything about "giving in" to your teen or "buying off" your teenager. It can be very dangerous if teenagers learn that they can play on their parent's fear to get what they want. In the beginning, this can be fun and feel good to teenagers, however, ultimately it makes them feel like you as the parent, are not in control which can feel scary for them. So...if your teenager says, "If you don't let me go to the all night party I am just going to take off" and you give into this demand, you are likely in for a very stressful, uphill battle with your teen who will continue to use this tactic to get what they want. The tips below are suggestions, however, knowing your teenager will be critical in your deciding which tips may be most effective.

Tips For Parents Which May Help Prevent Your Teenager From Running Away:


Educate your children about the dangerous of running away (before this becomes and issue for them). Doing this can cut down on the fantasies that some teens have that running away will bring them freedom, excitement and a great life.

Be consistent with your teenager. This is often a struggle but it is extremely helpful when parents are consistent in both their expectations as well as the consequences for breaking the rules. By having open conversations with your children about your rules and consequences for breaking the rules, you reduce the likelihood that your teen will be shocked and overly emotional (which can lead to drastic behaviors) when you set a limit or issue a consequence.

Allow your teen some control during times when you are not having a conflict. This expands on tip #2. It is a good idea to allow your teenager some control in setting the rules and expectations of the home (within reason of course) because then they are less able to argue these rules when they violate them. Having your teen be a part of the process increases the chances they will follow the expectations you have set and if they don't that they will accept the consequences of their actions.

Don't allow your teenager to coerce you by making threats. As is stated above, don't let your teenager's threats to do something irresponsible or unsafe drive your decision making. Most teens will attempt this at some point however, if you stand your ground, they are likely to try this only a couple times before they realize it will not work.

Be clear about what the consequences are for your teen's behavior. To build upon tip #4, if your teenager says, "If you don't let me go on the weekend trip I am going to take off and you will be sorry", I would suggest you say, "Well, that would be your decision which you know is against the rules. You should also know that I will call the police and they will issue a warrant for your arrest as a runaway if you choose to make that decision". This puts the ball back in their court and the bonus is that it makes it hard for them to continue to argue because you are not telling them they can't "take off", you are simply telling them the consequences of taking off.

Keep your teen connected as much as possible. As I have stated in other articles, staying connected to your teen is a critical way of avoiding a lot of problematic behaviors. Ask about their day, show interest in what they like (even if you can't stand their music or choice of movies), ask about their friends, ask them to be involved in dinners or choosing what they would like for dinner and make sure you talk to them about yourself as well. This is not always received well by teens, however by doing these things your teen will feel like you continue to take an interest in their life, which is very important to their self worth.

Don't downplay behavioral changes you may notice. As always, it is important for parents to notice changes in their teen. A suspicion that they are involved in alcohol or drugs, being abused, with an older boyfriend / girlfriend, with a peer group that is involved in criminal activity or that they have significantly withdrawn from the family as well as from school are all warning signs that they may run away.

If your teenager does run away, it is very important that you contact the police and file a report. Even though this may seem embarrassing, it will be important in sending your teen a clear message about how you will respond to such behaviors as well as help keep them safe when they are making poor decisions. If your teen runs away it is also helpful to call any family or friends who they may reach out to and alert them of the situation which may help you locate them sooner. This can be a very stressful and scary situation for a parent so as always, it is important that you have your own support during such difficult times.

For more information on Life Coaching or coaching for parents please visit [http://elite-life-coaching.com] or email Karen@elite-life-coaching.com

My name is Karen Vincent. I am a Certified Life Coach as well as a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker with a Masters Degree from Boston University. I have worked with teenagers / adolescents and their parents for the last 15 years in a variety of settings, including outpatient therapy, specialized schools, and in the home.

I have developed and conducted numerous parenting classes and support workshops specific to parents of teens. I have also created and presented training for professional staff including teachers, therapists and counselors who work with adolescents in Massachusetts, Connecticut and in New York City.

In my work, I partner with parents (usually through phone calls) who are experiencing difficulties in connecting with their teenage children and who are struggling to manage social, emotional or behavioral issues which arise during the teenage years. Through working with me, parents are able to:

- work through any self doubt they are having about their parenting

- develop action plans for addressing their areas of concern

- develop new ways of parenting their teens effectively

- discover new ways of connecting effectively with their teens

- eliminate sleepless nights and worries while Restoring Peace of Mind During the Teenage Years

Please call for a free Coaching Consultation: 774-245-7775