All parents argue with their teenagers but only few people do it right By following this blog you will learn some very useful tips that will help you Argue With Your Teenager the right way.
All parents argue with their teenagers but only few people do it right
By following this blog you will learn some very useful tips that will help you Argue With Your Teenager the right way.
Florida, like many states, allows individual counties and cities to enact their own teenage curfew regulations. Teenage curfew regulations are designed to decrease the victimization of minors, prevent criminal behavior by minors, and promote safety of those under the age of 16. Florida curfew violations may be unintentional and misconstrued, requiring a Florida criminal defense lawyer to rectify.
Florida's Model Teenage Curfew Law
The Florida statutes suggest a model curfew law for counties and cities that do not enact their own definitions of Florida curfew violations. The model law states a minor may not be in a public place from Sunday - Thursday between 11 p.m. and 5 a.m. or between 12:01 a.m. and 6 a.m. on Saturday or Sunday. This does not include legal holidays.
The teenage curfew applies also to students expelled or suspended from school. A minor in this situation may not be in a public place or within 1,000 feet of a school between the hours of 9:00 a.m. and 2:00 p.m. during any school day.
Florida curfew violations may also be assessed when the minor violates specific laws set forth by the local government. Each city and county within the state has the right to enact their own laws regarding Florida curfew disobedience, which may be more or less strict than the state model.
Because there may be varying charges for Florida curfew violations it is important to have a Florida criminal defense lawyer who understands local teenage curfew laws in your area.
Penalties for Florida Curfew Violations
The penalties you or your child may be facing for Florida curfew violations will vary depending on where the violation took place. If a child is detained near a city or county border, your Florida criminal defense lawyer may be able to argue the charges.
Typically, Florida curfew violations will result in a written warning for the first violation. If a minor is accused of a second violation they will be charged with a civil infraction and fined $50. In some cases, the minor will be taken into custody for violation of teenage curfew laws.
If a minor is taken into custody they will either be transported to a police station or a civic organization that conducts a curfew program in cooperation with the local authorities. The law enforcement agent will attempt to contact the minor's parents and request they take custody of their child. If the agency is unable to contact parent or guardian within 2 hours or the parent refuses to take custody, the minor will be taken to their residence.
Challenging Florida Curfew Violations
Your Florida criminal defense lawyer can review the details of your child's teenage curfew infringement and determine the best defense for fighting the charges. Florida curfew violations do go on your juvenile record and can be a detriment to fighting any future criminal charges.
If your child is charged with this offense, it is important to have good legal representation from an experienced Florida criminal defense lawyer. For the best opportunity to have the charges removed or reduced, you will need experienced help in pleading your case. A Miami criminal defense lawyer with case history in teenage curfew violations is an excellent source of assistance in this matter.
After all the children I have raised, with four being ones I gave birth to, I still sit in bewilderment at the teenage years. I find myself flipping like a coin that can expose either side when it comes to my own emotions during these years of my child growing up. On one side, I am elated at the miracle of my child growing up and stepping into adulthood. Yet, on the other side, I am dismayed by the loss of "my little angel bunny foofoo ears" that would cuddle next to me while showing me I was their world. The path to adulthood is at best a rollercoaster ride of hormones and erratic behavior. Being a parent puts you on the rollercoaster ride with them. My suggestion is to hang on tight and buy many tissues.
My expertise is with boys since I gave birth to five and took in several. When they reach the age of 11 to 14, the first symptoms appear as pimples and facial hair. This will be the first sign of testosterone poisoning. It will spread quickly and it will not be long until the brain is laden with testosterone deposits, causing it to misfire and your young son to show erratic behavior. Until the young male child shows completed maturity, they will bounce back and forth from being your sweet child to the genre of masculinity.
The male child will have strong desires to see nude woman. Much to the dismay of others in the household, they will spend extended amounts of time in the bathroom. You will probably go into denial and innocently try to figure out what is happening to your son. On occasion, he will still curl up next to your and snuggle. Enjoy the moment, and remember that this is the natural path to growing up.
As the young male body is being over run by hormones, his voice will change, his anger flairs, he will become moody and you will have no inclination as to when it will change. You will sit back in astonishment as he transforms his entire demeanor as he changes friends. I guarantee throughout this transformation, that you will be shocked at least a thousand times. He will have females on his mind 99% of the time.
Although the females are known to have addictions to telephones, you will find that the male child has the same dependency. With cell phones becoming common, the male child will learn at all times to live with one useful hand and the other bent to hold a phone to their ear. It will almost become an appendage until they marry, at which time they inform you that it is used "only for business".
Your darling male change will change from a warm and loving child to a male that does not understand women. Much like life in the animal kingdom, the young male will begin to argue and fight with other males in the household. This is in an attempt to become the alpha male of herd. The brothers, who were once best friends, will fight until there is blood to gain dominance. As the adult, you must stand up for yourself by ripping the appendage called a phone off their ear, or you will be marked and shoved aside.
When it comes to the female species, I have limited knowledge. I have taken in young girls but they left when the oldest was in first grade. Steve blessed me by bringing Shannon into my life when she was 16 and wanting her own car. The other knowledge I have is my closeness to my niece, Sabrina as she went through the trying teen years.
The female child will become a very complex human as she starts to mature. About the age of twelve, she starts her progression of growing up. She will morph from your little princess to an entity of rotating emotions. In a short amount of time, "The Princess" will constantly marinate in a pool of estrogen that will change her emotions, decisions, and thought pattern in a split second. Many become a "Drama Queen" in this period of their life. The real trick is getting them to grow out of it.
Sadly, most female hormonal mutants gage their worth from the opinions of other male and female mutants (males measure their self worth the same way). The results will vary from the need to shop and chatter excessively to a quiet and sad young woman that keeps to herself and a few friends. You will literally be tossed around on a sea of emotions as the young female set sails for womanhood. Please allow me to throw out a life preserver in the form of advice throughout the next paragraph.
Do not be fooled by your young ladies large doe eyes filling with tears. At that moment of their life, the "tragedy" they are experiencing is indeed ripping their heart apart. If you become entrapped by the intense emotion, and attempt to climb the heavens and the earth to remedy this for her you may be met with a surprise. When you do locate her in an attempt to inform her you have cured her problem, you will almost certainly exasperate her by interrupting her phone call. You will probably find her laughing and when you tell what you did for her; she will look at you as if you have four eyes and say" OH MY GAWD! That was like so 5 minutes ago!". My advice is to step aside, make no quick moves, and hope it will go away. If it does not, immediately drop and play dead.
Unlike the male mutants, the females are not preoccupied with the opposite sex's appearance. They are involved in their own appearance and the number of males they attract. Females are not as interested in sex as they are about being popular and pretty. Their first physicals signs of maturing are breasts, their periods, and PMS. There will be times your little princess will appear and be sweet and helpful. Treasure those moments for they will become a rarity.
I offer you a minuscule amount of wisdom since each case is unique. I tell you to take the "dramas" lightly as they will pass. I ask you to reinforce their self-esteem by letting them know they are all beautiful in their own rights and things will change when they are older. No matter how much you would like to be their best friend, remember that your role as a parent is much more important. They need stability, structure and guidance more than they need a friend. They have multi friends at school, and as you know, friends come and go with age. Yet they only have at most 4 parents to love and guide them through this maze we call life. Your role in their life is essential to their success.
On the hormonal sea of puberty, take the role of captain and remain in charge at all times. Remember that your greatest strength will be in the fact that you can lead and love at the same time. Speak with wisdom and firmness without using profanity or a hysterical tone. It is easier to give in and spoil a child than it is to be authoritative and raise a child. You can be firm and still act loving towards them. You do not have to be their best friend to have a good time and share laughter with your child. One more tip from an endless list, do not walk away from raising your child, or speak hastily. This is your child, and giving up is not an option. Your words will be remembered when they are parents, so make sure your words were spoken with forethought and wisdom. You have to act like an adult in order to raise a child to become one.
This lesson is not about growing up as a child through puberty but as an adult through parenting. It is about walking through a time in life where one must lead and another follow. Find the humor in this phase so that you may laugh and lighten your load. It is not the person you are as you begin to sail but the person you have become when your voyage is completed.
*Please, note that prolonged depression and excessive "drama" within a teenager's life (or anyone's for that matter) should be taken seriously. There is mental health treatment available regardless of finances. You should contact your doctor or local Heath Department to be referred to a treatment facility. The rate for teenage suicide has peaked and we must take this seriously.
Sometimes the laughter in mothering is the recognition of the ironies and absurdities. Sometime, though, it's just pure, unthinking delight.
Barbara Schapiro, O Magazine, May 2003
What children take from us, they give...We become people who feel more deeply, question more deeply, hurt more deeply, and love more deeply.
Rhiannon Waits is a Globally reconized Psychic/Medium, Talk Show of "Lets Talk About You", Syndicated colunist for "Rhia's Corner", Author of "Little Lessons on Love and Life", Motivational Speaker, and the recording artist of "Spiritual Journeys". She lives in Pensacola Florida with her mate, Steven and their family. COntact can be made through her website http://www.rhiannonwaits.com or calling her office at 850-941-4190.
Teenage rebellion: one of the certainties on adolescent parents. The scene when the children begin to become adults is one where their full frame of reference on the world changes. There are new rules for them to follow, of new sources of power and influence in their lives, and they must learn to place in the world. An essential part of successful teenage parenthood is helping your child learn their limits.
One thing that should occur when parents adolescents, it is that you must ask your first reactions to what your teen. If your daughter dyed blue hair or your son starts wearing make up, you want may face in the future, but don't forget that they are not hurting anyone. They will be stopped once they feel foolish, or changes of mode. In addition, it is important what your teen looks outside if they are a good person inside? It is an essential thing for a souvenir for young parents.
Key tactics to know when parents adolescents, once you have done that the actions of your ADO are step harm to someone, is to avoid confrontation. Your teen will probably argue back, worse things for you all and test how far they can push. Try and remain calm and patient in all aspects of teenage parenthood. Have a discussion on a particular behavior, try and have a general discussion and ask questions which will be lead them to think things through by themselves.
Forgive your adolescent. Often, this is something difficult to do when parents adolescents, but remember that they are just learning. Be fair but firm. If they do or say something that you can not find acceptable adult, tell them. They may not know that their behavior is unacceptable. Give them the opportunity to apologize and change their behavior before taking action. This is something key to adolescent parents remember. If they once again, and then ignore, if possible and take appropriate measures if it affects other people in a negative way.
Teenage parenting can be stressful, but can also be so much fun. You have a new adult in your life who can do things that that could not your children. They are required to verify the limits and see what they can and cannot do, and it is something that almost all teens parents must deal with. If you are seriously concerned about the behaviour of your much ADO and there are indications that they could be harming themselves or others, then please do not be worried about seeking professional help.
The author is an executive marketing successfully in the business of large consumer goods and of a mother of two boys. She has had a rough ride over the past two years and recorded his family on the disaster while working on his techniques successfully in parenting. It is specialized in the Councils of the parents. You can access free report "New Style" parental or buy his book "The Teenage problems resolution" on http://www.teenageproblems.newparentingstyle.com or check your "Parent Stress intensity Quotient"on http://www.stressmanagement.newparentingstyle.com. "."
The problems of adolescence are a major headache for most parents. There are many causes of these problems - hormonal changes and physical, stress at school, family stress and pressure of peer group are some of the main causes of these problems. Let us understand various symptoms of adolescent behavior problems:
Withdrawal: The first signs of adolescent behavior problems are the withdrawal of their relationship with you. They will be suddenly stop responding to you and give you answers only in single syllables. They will start hiding something from you and become discrete. Also, they remain in their room all the time and refuse to be part of the family get delighted.
Arguments: Another major symptom of problem behaviour among adolescent girls is an increase in the argumentative nature of your child. Your child will stop to listen to and argue with you on almost anything. They will be in question all the rules you have thrown and arguments against to perform any work that you give them. This assertion of their individuality can be problems of the young person in the future.
Bickering Nature: Squabbling is a natural offshoot of stress and hormonal changes who know a young person. Your teen can start fighting with the younger brothers and sisters, neighbours and friends. One of the major problems of behaviour among adolescent girls that you may face is an increase in violence in your adolescent and the resulting problems of adolescence as the complaints from school, neighbours and other brothers and sisters.
Social change: adolescent behavior problems may also occur distance increased from parents and friends of the parents. Most adolescents exhibit aversion to any social gathering, and refuse to accompany their parents to family get together. Many adolescents also refuses to join a party thrown by their parents at home. Lack of social skills is one of the major problems of adolescence that most parents face.
The "resolution Teenage Problems" book not only provides various symptoms of these problems but also measure the severity of these problems, so that you can take immediate action. Behavioural problems are perhaps the most common forms of problems in adolescents who face all parents. However, proper communication and the display of unchallenged support can help your teen to navigate in this state of confusion and emerge at the other end as responsible and confident adult.
The author is an executive marketing successfully in the business of large consumer goods and of a mother of two boys. She has had a rough ride over the past two years and recorded his family on the disaster while working on his techniques successfully in parenting. It is specialized in the Councils of the parents. You can access free report "New Style" parental or buy his book "The Teenage problems resolution" on http://www.teenageproblems.newparentingstyle.com or check your "Parent Stress intensity Quotient"on http://www.stressmanagement.newparentingstyle.com. "."
Many if not all of us wish there was a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow and a magic bullet for all the other things that plague our lives, acne being one of them. There is no magic bullet to cure all acne but there are 4 tips that should be part of any teenage acne treatment. Habits exist that will make acne worse and there are a number of falsehoods in regards to acne.
Having clear skin or as close to it as possible is important since it is well documented that acne can lead a person into depression and even suicidal thoughts. People spend a lot of money for clear skin and although I could argue that there is unnecessary vanity in some of this I will admit that having acne, as a youth was not easy and even today when I get a pimple it is not pleasant. It is particularly hard for a teenager and so lets look at the best teenage acne treatment.
So if we simplify the treating of teenage acne by focusing on these four main points.
1. Squeeze Pimples - This is a habit that is very detrimental to the skin and needs to be avoided. When a pimple or a blackhead is squeezed the pus can be pushed deeper into the skin and even into adjacent segments of the epidermis and in bad cases even the dermis layer of the skin. This squeezing pimples will also result in a larger cavity and lead to the terrible scarring of the skin. The pus if not properly cleaned from the skin can also infect other parts of the skin and cause the acne to spread.
2. Hormones - Hormones do cause acne and is often the culprit for the first signs of acne in young people going through puberty as their bodies undergo tremendous hormonal changes. There are lifestyle habits that can affect hormone levels and if a person takes the time to understand these and incorporate the practices into their life they can often greatly reduce the occurrence of acne. The only food items related to acne are dairy products such as milk, cheeses, ice cream and yogurt. The hormones in the dairy products stimulate the acne breakouts. Currently there is no connection between acne and any other food items like chocolate, pizza or even potato chips. The greatest cause besides puberty is stress since stress increases the levels of hormones in the body. Therefore, any practice that increases stress could be said to be secondarily related to causing acne and pimples. These lifestyle practices include rest, water intake, the consumption of sweets and oils, faulty thinking habits, lack of exercise, getting pure air and being outside and getting sunlight.
3. Treatment - If the case of acne is bad enough that as much as 20% of the skin is covered the person should see a dermatologist who will most likely prescribe one of the medications for Acne. The numerous acne treatment systems available for sale and some are proven to help young men and women with the frequency and severity of pimples but take caution that you don't waste your money on something that does not work. Don't rush, make sure that you find the product that is well known to work.
4. Hygiene - Poor hygiene will not create acne and pimples but if the skin is dirty it can clog the pores and will result in blackheads. It is important to not scrub acne since it can spread the pus and infection to other parts of the skin. Be careful in your selection of soap since most soap leaves a film on the skin. Cleansing your face is best to do with warm water and just your hands so there is no hard scrubbing.
This may seem to simple but being able to can change your day to day habits and your thinking patterns will likely be the work of a lifetime. The number one thing you need to do for teenage acne treatment is learn how to control your stress and second is to eliminate dairy products from your diet as much as possible. If you accomplish these two tasks you have made two significant choices that will reduce the occurrence and severity of acne and pimples.
Is your teenager mouthy, disrespectful, argumentative, and just plain unpleasant to be around?
If you're like many parents, the picture you held of parenthood included very little of what later turned into reality. Who could have imagined that the sweetest little girl or boy ever born would turn into a monster by the time he or she reached their teens?
The times we live in certainly don't make parenting any easier, but learning to set limits from the beginning will. Here are a few tips I have picked up along the way that may be helpful.
1. Spend lots of time with your kids.
Having children, like marriage, is something that should not be entered into lightly. If you don't have time to invest in a child, think about waiting until later to have one. Unless you make your spouse and your children your top priority, you are asking for problems ahead.
2. Don't expect your children to know things they haven't been taught.
A new baby knows only what you choose to teach him. Most of us are only too anxious to teach our children to walk, to eat, and to use the potty chair, but when these tasks are accomplished, we often neglect to teach them things like being kind, telling the truth, showing respect, etc.
Teaching involves more than just telling a child something. "We told him not to lie," we say, but did we model truthful behavior in front of him? Did we point out instances of lying, disrespect, bullying, and rudeness by others, and talk to them about better ways that person could have behaved; or did we just wait until our child did it themselves and punish them for it?
Spend time picking out and reading books that illustrate the traits you want your children to adopt and that show the consequences of not behaving in acceptable ways. Take time to reinforce the lessons in these stories by discussing them as you are reading, and by referring to them later.
3. Screen who and what your child is exposed to.
If the kids next door are rude, mean, foul-mouthed, etc., you have every right to limit your kids exposure to them. Tell the visitors what is expected when they are in your home and, if they continue to behave poorly, send them home.
I once worked for a woman who refused to talk to her kids about anything she deemed controversial---things like religion, politics, drugs, and abortion, because she thought they should make up their own minds about such things after they grew up.
Her idea might have some merit. The problem is that kids will be influenced by what they do hear and see along the way to adulthood. If you don't exercise some control over that, your child may end up following a path that is harmful not only to themselves but also to others. Failing to teach your children good values ranks right up there with child abuse in my opinion.
4. Have some family rules that are set in stone.
Every family is different. You may think that kids should be allowed to date at 12 while other parents would shudder at the thought, and insist that 16 is the minimum age for dating.
The point is, decide what the rules are in your family, and post them or make a family booklet containing the rules. Yours might read something like this.
a. Our family members will support every other member of the family.
b. Every family member will keep his or her own room clean.
c. We do not yell in our home. (Unless the house is on fire.)
d. We will be polite to each other at all times.
e. We will meet together once a month/week to discuss any problems.
f. No TV or Computer games until ALL homework is done.
g. Whining will get you nowhere-except sent to your room.
h. No dating on school nights.
i. Curfew is____ p.m. on date nights.
Your list may be a lot different and a lot longer, but there should be a list. That way, there is no excuse for arguing over something that has already been decided. If your family attends church, put that on your list so that when the time comes, (and it will) that a child would rather do something with a friend than go to church, you can point to the list and tell him that this family goes to church. Period. (But he can invite his friend to come along if he likes.)
5. Don't hesitate to get outside help if your kids do get out of control.
Schools usually have counselors that are willing to meet with both the teen and his or her parents in order to resolve a problem.
Having someone the teen respects talk to him about his behavior. A pastor, Sunday school teacher, grandpa, grandma, aunt, uncle, family friend, etc. are all possibilities. Teens are often more willing to take advice from someone other than their parents. Don't take it personally if your child talks to others more than he talks to you. After all, don't we as adults frequently unload our problems on a friend?
Read about what other parents have done in similar situations to see if you can implement some of their solutions in your own home. Check out Amazon or Barnes and Noble for e-books on the subject.
Finally, consider professional help. If that sounds too expensive, look for a counselor that will adjust his or her fee to your income. Doing nothing while hoping the situation will improve is often worse than no solution at all.
If you already have a rebellious teen, don't despair. Many of today's fine young adults, (and older ones, too) were once rebellious teens. They managed to overcome whatever was responsible for their irresponsible behavior, and your teen can, too.
When we judge by the statistics, it is estimated that about 100,000 people kill themselves a year in the USA. Of this number only 30,000 are reported as suicides. Of these 30,000 people, 2000 are in their teenage years.
First, the most important fact of suicide: Even if a person does die by suicide, that doesn't mean he chose it. If he knew he could have his life back without so much pain, he would choose life. Suicide victims are not trying to end their life; they are trying to end the pain.
Number one cause of suicide is depression. Depression is not the same thing as the "blues". The blues are normal feelings. Blues pass in a short time, say a couple of weeks. Depression lingers on or comes to pester a person over and over again carrying death.
Depression is a whole body disease affecting thoughts, feelings, behavior, physical health, appearance, and all areas of a person's home, work, school and social life. Yet, depression can be treated successfully just like other illnesses such as diabetes, pneumonia, ulcers, etc. Depression is an illness that surfaces when triggered by a complex combination of genetic, psychological and environmental factors. For its treatment, therapy and very often medication are needed.
Anyone can get depression at any age. If someone is suffering from depression, he is not weak or crazy; although, he may feel like he is going crazy. He does not have a character flaw. Having depression is not his fault. When a person has depression, he cannot talk or think himself out of it. Image via WikipediaSometimes people who are severely depressed and contemplating suicide don't have enough energy to carry it out. As the disease begins to ease up, they may regain some of their energy, but may still have feelings of hopelessness, even though in the outside, they may seem to be calmer. At this time, they may try to kill themselves because they feel they just can't fight it anymore.
If you feel a teen is thinking of suicide, the first thing to do is to be direct. Ask them straight out if they want to kill themselves. They may answer you with a joke, but make sure that they understand you are serious and that they answer you seriously.
Emergency measures if you feel that a person is about to kill himself:
Do not leave the person alone unless you are in danger yourself. Studies show that most people will not harm themselves when they are with someone.
Listen to what the person says. What might seem trivial to you can be overwhelming to the person in pain.
Be the link to get help.
If you're a teen yourself call your parents, their parents, another trusted adult, or better yet 911.
If you are an adult, call the parents or any other help available.
For suicide to happen three conditions are necessary:
1. Intense and excruciating psychological pain
2. Wish to die being greater and more persistent than the will to live
3. An available self-injury method
Parents, family members, and friends should not panic, but they should be on the alert when they hear certain statements, especially when they are told in clusters, bits and pieces, and a little too often. These following statements may be the indication of depression as a disease:
"I feel guilty. I feel sad. I feel like crying a lot. I feel so alone. I feel so helpless.
I don't have fun anymore. Sometimes I feel I can't go on living. I don't want to go out with friends anymore. I feel "different" from everyone else.
I don't really feel sad, just "empty". I feel like I'm in a fog.
I don't have any confidence in myself. I don't like myself.
I smile, but inside, I'm miserable.
I feel scared a lot of the time, but I don't know why.
I feel mad a lot, like I could just explode. I'm always getting into trouble. Sometimes I do things that are dangerous or that could hurt me. I use alcohol or drugs to escape or to mask feelings.
I don't feel like talking--I just don't have anything to say.
I'm so restless and jittery. I just can't sit still.
I can't concentrate. I have a hard time remembering. I can't think straight. My brain doesn't seem to "work".
I feel so disorganized, like my head is spinning.
I feel so self-conscious. I don't want to make decisions; it's too much work.
I'm so tired, no matter how much sleep I get. I don't feel like taking care of my appearance or myself. My whole body feels slowed down; my speech, my walk, my movements.
Occasionally, my heart will pound very hard; I can't catch my breath; I feel tingly; my vision seems strange; and I feel like I might pass out. This passes in seconds, but I'm afraid it will happen again. (This statement points to panic attacks.)
I'm frustrated with everything and everybody. I feel my life has no direction.
I have trouble falling asleep or wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep.
I don't feel like eating anymore. I feel I could eat all the time. I've gained or lost a significant amount of weight.
I have headaches, stomachaches, backaches, and/or pain in my arms and legs. I feel dizzy a lot.
My vision seems blurred or slow at times. Nothing I do makes me feel better."
Signs of Trouble:
Abrupt changes in personality
Giving away possessions
Previous suicide attempt
Use of drugs and/or alcohol
Change in eating pattern - significant weight loss or gain
Change in sleeping pattern - insomnia or oversleeping
Unwillingness or inability to communicate
Extreme or extended boredom
Being careless and accident prone
Unusual sadness, discouragement or loneliness.
Talk of wanting to die - the words mostly used are: ending it all, end, finish, stop
Neglect of academic work and/or personal appearance
Family disruptions - divorce, trauma, losing loved one
Running away from home or truancy from school
Rebelliousness - reckless behavior
Withdrawal from people/activities they love
Confusion - inability to concentrate
Chronic pain, panic or anxiety
Perfectionism or restlessness
Life Events That Could Trigger Suicide:
Major loss...of a loved one
Other major losses like a home, car, pet, prized possession
A trauma, or loss of a relationship
Divorce in the family
Problems with school or the law
Breakup of a romance
Unexpected pregnancy
A stressful family life (Having abusive parents, parents who are depressed or are substance abusers, or a family history of suicide)
Loss of security or fear of authority, peers, group or gang members
Stress due to new situations; college or relocating to a new community
Failing in school or failing to pass an important test
A serious illness or injury to oneself
Seriously injuring another person or causing another person's death, maybe in a car accident
------------------
The following are the guidelines given by the Yellow Ribbon organization.
To Help a Suicidal Teenager:
Deal with your own feelings first. The idea of young people wanting to kill themselves is difficult for adults to grasp. The first reaction is often shock or denial. Trust your feelings when you think someone may be suicidal. A second reaction might be efforts to argue, minimize, to discount the young person's feelings of despair. Remember that most young people who contemplate or attempt suicide are not intent on dying. Rather, at the moment, the pain of living is more unbearable than the fear of dying.
1. Listen, don't lecture. What the young person really needs in this crisis period is someone who will listen to what is being said. Try to understand from the teenager's viewpoint.
2. Accept what is said and treat it seriously. Do not judge. Do not offer platitudes.
3. Ask directly if the individual is thinking of suicide. If the teenager has not been thinking of suicide, he or she will tell you. If the young person has been thinking of it, your asking allows the opportunity to bring it out in the open. Isolation and the feeling that there is no one to talk to compounds suicidal thinking. You will not cause someone to commit suicide by asking them if they are suicidal.
4. Talk openly and freely and try to determine whether the person has a plan for suicide. The more detailed the plan, the greater the risk.
5. Try to focus on the problem. Point out that depression causes people to see only the negatives in their lives and to be temporarily unable to see the positives. Elicit from the person's past and present positive aspects which are being ignored.
6. Help the young person to increase his/her perception of alternatives to suicide. Look at what the young person hopes to accomplish by suicide and generate alternative ways to reaching the same goals. Help determine what needs to be done or changed.
7. Help the person recall how they used to cope. Get the person to talk about a past problem and how it was resolved. What coping skills did he or she use?
8. Evaluate the resources available and help identify the resources needed to improve things. The individual may have both inner psychological resources and outer resources in the community that can be strengthened. If they are absent the problem is much more serious. Your continuing observation and support are vital.
9. Do not be misled by the teenager's comments that he/she is past the emotional crisis. The person might feel initial relief after talking of suicide, but the same thinking could recur later.
10. Act respectfully. Do arrange with the person to be back in contact within a few hours. Offer yourself as a caring and concerned listener until professional assistance has been obtained.
11. Do not avoid asking for assistance and consultation. Call upon whomever is needed, depending upon the severity of the case. Do not try to handle everything alone. Go to the child's guidance counselor, principal, parents, minister, etc. Seek out referrals from hotlines, etc. Convey an attitude of firmness and composure so that the person will feel that something appropriate and realistic is being done.
The teen years can be a challenge to say the least. For teenage girls this time is crucial as they are developing their character and establishing morals and values that will define who they become. It's a time when young girls learn many of life's lessons that will carry them into their adult years. To say that teenage girls are impressionable during these years would be an understatement. These girls need a good, solid relationship with their parents. In particular they need a good relationship with their father who is able to instill the needed character traits and values that will help to lay a solid moral foundation for life. Listed below are several reasons that teenage girls need to have a good relationship with their dads.
As a father and a Christian I believe one of the most important reasons to have a good relationship your teenage daughter is to earn her trust and respect. When you as a father lead your family by example, exemplifying the love of Christ through your life, what begins to take place is you begin lying a biblical foundation for her and that foundation is Christ. Once this foundation has been laid you then begin building upon Him who is more than able to hold this young life in His hands. Upon that foundation a father can begin to pour his heart into his teenage daughter's life building her self esteem. A self esteem that is God centered rather than one that is centered on the things of this world. When self esteem is Christ centered rather that self centered there is a world of difference. Christ centered self esteem says that my self esteem or myself worth comes from who I am as a child of God in Christ. I am a child of the Most High. When this is realized then one's self esteem becomes something that cannot be taken away by man. My self esteem is not based on the type of car I drive or based on how much money I have. It's not based on how big my house is or where I live. Where I work or who I associate with. None of these determine my self esteem. My self esteem is found in Christ. If a teenage girl finds her self esteem in Him. That is a good foundation in deed.
It can't be said enough that teenage girls need a good relationship with their dads. The teen years for girls are some of the most important years that they will have. The teen years are when a substantial amount of who they are and who they will become takes place. It is vital that we fathers take the time needed to poor into our daughter's lives. To do so is not just your duty; it's your responsibility and privilege.
If you've spent any time learning about teenage acne products, then you probably already know how many of them is here. Each product claims to be the alpha of remedies, and yet, only some of them appear to still contribute to a low level. When you search more acne itself, is not only the products which vary; There are also many ideas different on the causes and effects of this common teen affliction.
The simple truth is that without a clear understanding of what acne is and what it produces, it may be difficult to find an effective treatment against the teenage acne. Worse that this, without an effective method to reduce acne, psychological effects can be quite devastating; the emotional and social impact that a bad case of acne in your teen years can leave you with one complex following you in your adult life.
To begin to understand the problem we shall watch that acne is, that it causes, and then we will move to some simple ways you can reduce acne in your teen years.
What is acne?
Acne is a condition of the skin that is caused by the overproduction of oil in the skin by skins oil glands. Plugged pores, blackheads, white ears, buttons, and even the cysts may be the result of when oil from these glands gets trapped in the oil-ducts under the skin. Cases of Acne can range from mild, where only a few form buttons or the black spots on the face, for more serious cases, in which wound covering the entire face, neck, back and shoulders.
Although most common Acne can affect anyone of adolescence. The problem usually begins in adolescence, when a child reaches puberty (generally between 10 and 13) and he commonly last for five to ten years. Acne Teenage goes away normally during the early twenties, but not always. Even in adulthood, you suffer from this condition.
When it comes to information about acne, there are several conflicting resources and ideas. To really get a start in the prevention of teenage acne, a basic knowledge of its real causes is required.
What are the causes of Teenage acne?
The causes of acne are sometimes supported, but research on the topic gives us an understanding. Let's talk first about what causes not acne. This will help get rid of some of the myths surrounding acne.
Diet does not cause acne: eating fatty foods, of chips or chocolate bars not give you acne. Some studies link aggravating acne diet, but what you eat will it not cause in the first place.
A healthy sex drive does not cause may: another widespread is sex causes acne. This is simply not true. Birth control pills can trigger or aggravate acne in women, but even then, it is not the cause of the problem.
Exercise will not cause acne: you've probably heard say that if you sweat, you might get zits. Once more it is not true. Exercise will not your face are beginning to pop out all over, and it is an important part of your overall health that you exercise.
Dirt does not cause acne: a face dusty or dirty will not cause acne. It is important to keep clean, wash your face every 10 minutes will be steps to prevent or even help with your acne. Washing can too even more cause skin irritation. Bad hygiene can aggravate your acne, but yet again, it is not the cause.
The real cause of teenage acne is in the oil glands in your skin in your hormones. In your hormones adolescence as, testosterone and other hormones androgen kick into high gear. This usually occurs around the same time that a child hit puberty. These hormones trigger oil (sebaceous glands) glands in your skin to produce more than one substance known as sebum.
When working properly, use of sebum is to transport the dead cells of the skin and the bacteria on the surface of the skin. With the increase in production, however, your body produces too sebum and he obstructs your pores. These clogged pores then lead to blackheads, whiteheads, buttons and even the cysts that can get under the skin.
Understand how acne starts, it is time look at how to reduce teenage acne.
How Simple reduce Teenage acne
The simple fact is that you can't control your body hormones. However, you can control the health of your skin. By ensuring that you keep your skin healthy, you increase the chance of any work properly, thus reducing the chances that you will suffer from acne. Studies have shown that the best way of treating teenage acne is to keep your healthy skin. The treatment of right with avoiding things that aggravate acne is the best remedy. There are skin care products for acne prevention and reduction, such as our own teenage acne, which may reduce the severity and duration of the small groups. These types of treatments are entirely natural and are not difficult on your skin.
Now that you know a little more acne, you can better control and you will be able to choose the products that actually work in your quest for clear skin.
About the author. Johanna Curtis is a professional skin care under license (personal care), which works with parents and adolescents in their struggles with the teenage acne. She is the teenage - acne .net creator; a community site, created to support people with acne problems. Johanna suggests the damaging not topical treatment, Acnezine, first in the treatment of teenage acne
Your angel has just entered the magical 13 and all of a sudden the equations between the two of you have undergone a sea change. You suddenly find your lovely daughter getting moody, irritable and she has stopped coming to you for advice. You feel she has started keeping secrets from you and you are no longer her best friend.
So what has changed all of a sudden? Why does she not spend as much time with you as she used to earlier? She has also started arguing more with your husband and is hardly on talking terms with her younger brother. She had always been a good student and all of a sudden you find her grades going down. She has her own peer group and tries to be with them most of the time. At times when you try talking to her she just shuts you out or walks out on you leaving you frustrated and tearing your hair in anger. You had always heard horror stories from your friends and relatives regarding their teenage sons and daughters but were confident that you will never have to face such a situation yourself. You suddenly find all that confidence crumbling to pieces and like most parents throw up your arms in despair.
What are the sudden changes that you see in your teen? The rules around the house are not followed. Her room is suddenly out of bounds for you. If you do manage to sneak in when she is not around you will find it to be very dirty and shabby. Her diet has undergone dramatic changes. There are some signs of her experimenting with alcohol and drugs. There are constant complaints from school regarding her attendance, lack of concentration and grades going down. Most parents' worry that their teens might turn into drug addicts or try unprotected sex with disastrous consequences.
The immediate reaction of parents when they start encountering problems with their teens is to blame themselves. There are others who start blaming the raging hormones for everything. Well the problem is neither with you nor with the hormones. Teenage phase in one's life is the most interesting and most teens get confused as they are outgrowing their childhood years and making the first tentative steps into adulthood. They are in a dilemma and don't know whether to behave like a child or an adult. There are also a lot of physical changes that are taking place and all these things happen so fast that they are caught unawares.
You may also find your teenager getting into a depressed state of mind and this might happen on a frequent basis. At times the depression lasts for days and may well stretch into a week or more.
What are the symptoms of teenage behaviour problems that you as a parent need to look out for and how can you be of help? The most visible signs of trouble in your teen's life are restlessness, aggression, sadness, hopelessness, anger, frequent crying, fatigue, losing interest in studies, withdrawing from family, change in eating and sleeping patterns and in some extreme cases suicidal thoughts.
The reaction of most parents is extreme and your teenage son or daughter withdraws further into a shell and instead of seeking your help goes further away from you. So how does one go about turning the tide and getting things back in order without losing temper and build a relationship that will stand the test of time? First and foremost stop trying to be your teen's best friend. You are his or her parent and that is the role they expect you to play in life. You must lend unconditional support and there should be no strings attached. Learn to listen and control the urge to advise them on everything and encourage them to find solutions on their own. You need to be gentle yet firm. Try and teach them that there will be consequences to their reckless behaviour.
Let them express their feelings without fear and try to build trust. Don't start lecturing but try to talk to them in a polite way. If you fear that your teen might start experimenting with drugs or sex let them know the dangers associated with them. Find out about their peer group and invite them home. Appreciate and reward every good behaviour or act on the part of your teenager. Ensure that rules around the house are followed by seeking their cooperation. Teach them discipline and good habits. Be firm when required and don't give in to your teens tantrums. There may be times when they try to push you around but if you stand your ground they will eventually come to respect you. A parent requires a lot of love, tact, understanding and firmness to help restore normalcy. Don't give up on your loved one, all they need is a bit of guidance to help cross the sea of teenage and step into the ocean of adulthood.
In the book "Solving Teenage Problems", the causes and symptoms of teenage behaviour problems have been described in detail. The book also gives over 30 different tips to deal with teenage behavioural issues. Finally the book provides with 8 different models to prepare for better relationship with your teenager. Knowing all these techniques will be very crucial and would help you to navigate through this difficult phase with ease.
The author is a successful marketing executive in a large consumer goods company and a mother of two boys. She has had a rough ride in the past two years and has successfully saved her family from the brink of disaster by working on her parenting techniques. She specialises in parenting tips. You can access her free report "New Parenting Style" or buy her book "Solving Teenage Problems" on http://www.teenageproblems.newparentingstyle.com or check your "Parent Stress Intensity Quotient" on http://www.stressmanagement.newparentingstyle.com.
Are you tired of feeling like you do nothing but argue with your teenager? Do you feel like you walk on eggshells or that you always have to be prepared for an argument no matter what you do? Well, you are not alone. Many parents of teenagers with whom I have worked have this same experience. What is interesting is that most teenagers don't like to argue with their parents, they are just so confused and emotional much of the time that arguing becomes the communication style they revert back to - especially with parents. This article will provide tips for parents who are dealing with teens who seem to want to argue about anything and everything.
It is helpful to remember the following things about teenagers:
1. Most teens have not mastered their communication skills so they may come across as rude, accusatory, as not making sense or as unreasonable. A lot of times the problem is that they simply cannot express what they are feeling appropriately. For example, "I hate you" may really mean "I don't like this rule", however, being on the receiving end of "I hate you" is much more difficult to manage as a parent than a teen telling you they just don't like a certain rule.
2. Often teenagers behave as though they are the center of the world and have a hard time seeing the view of others. This is not a product of poor upbringing or a sign that you missed something in your parenting along the way. It is instead a product of the developmental stage of adolescence which includes self-centeredness.
3. Teens like to show off in front of their friends. Often teens will put their parents on the spot or will push limits in front of their friends in an effort to show their friends that they have control over their parents.
4. As I have written about in other articles, teens want to be independent but are often times not really ready for this which scares them. Teens will often resent the need for ongoing parental oversight and limits which they respond to with anger or defiance.
5. Teens sometimes do what they do just to rebel and to make a point that they are independent from their parents.
Tips parents can follow to minimize arguing:
1. Allow everyone to have a fair opportunity to say what they would like to say. Don't just keep talking and repeating the same thing over and over without giving your teenager an opportunity to express their thoughts or how they feel.
2. Do your best not to interrupt when your teen is speaking their mind - this will increase the chances that they will listen while you speak.
3. Let your teenager know that you cannot speak to them when they are yelling and respond effectively when they stop yelling. Praise them during times when they are able to express themselves effectively.
4. Do your best to stick to the point and not bring up the past, other situations or bring others into the conversation unless it directly relates to them.
5. During arguments, never "put down" or make fun of your teenager.
6. Offer choices whenever possible and allow compromises when possible.
7. Accept that your teenager is not going to talk to you about everything. Pushing them to talk about topics which are uncomfortable or upsetting will often result in their lashing out at you. Obviously if you are concerned about their safety you will need to push them, however, if your interest in a certain topic is more out of curiosity, sometimes it is better to just leave the topic alone than to argue with them about it.
8. Regardless of how loud your teen is yelling, keep your voice low. Your teen will have to lower their own voice to hear you and in addition, just speaking softly can lower the tension in the room.
9. Try to use "I" statements rather than blaming statements. For example, you may say, "I get really worried about you when you don't come home for your curfew" instead of "You keep messing up by coming in late for your curfew". In both situations, you are letting them know it is unacceptable but it is harder for them to argue the "I" statement which is less blaming.
10. If your teenager is getting really out of control, tell them that you are ending the conversation for 10 minutes until everyone calms down some and then you will be willing to revisit the conversation (this may mean you need to go into the bathroom or go for a drive to allow for this break and to physically move from the situation).
11. Remain sitting if at all possible when your teen is arguing with you - this will help them feel less threatened and view you as being calmer which may work to help them calm down as well.
12. Try not to take things personally. Often teens will say hurtful and mean things to parents which is not acceptable or okay in my opinion. Despite this, it is important that parents do not respond out of emotion. It is more helpful for parents to let their teen know how their words impacted them and that it is not acceptable during a non-emotional time rather than to try to tackle this issue when your teen is already upset and not listening to you. Using tip 10 can be effective at this point in an argument.
13. Validate your teenager even if you don't agree with everything they are saying. Having your teen feel heard is often more important than having them feel like you agree with what they are saying.
14. Do your best to communicate with your teenager during non-confrontational times. Having regular communication (perhaps at family dinners) will help them communicate effectively with you ongoing so that you are not only communicating during emotional times.
15. Pick your battles. Your teenager will test you with what they wear, their music and subjects they bring up just to name a few. Be thoughtful about the battles you want to fight and know that much of the time they are just testing the waters and trying to figure out who they are which will pass in a short period of time.
Figuring out teenagers and how to respond to them effectively is a challenge each and every day. As the parent of a teenager it is important that you get support and have balance in your life so that you can respond to your teenager in a way which is effective and which does not increase your own stress and frustration.
For more information on Life Coaching or coaching for parents please visit [http://elite-life-coaching.com] or email Karen@elite-life-coahing.com.
My name is Karen Vincent. I am a Certified Life Coach as well as a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker with a Masters Degree from Boston University. I have worked with teenagers / adolescents and their parents for the last 15 years in a variety of settings, including outpatient therapy, specialized schools, and in the home.
I have developed and conducted numerous parenting classes and support workshops specific to parents of teens. I have also created and presented training for professional staff including teachers, therapists and counselors who work with adolescents in Massachusetts, Connecticut and in New York City.
In my work, I partner with parents (usually through phone calls) who are experiencing difficulties in connecting with their teenage children and who are struggling to manage social, emotional or behavioral issues which arise during the teenage years. Through working with me, parents are able to:
• work through any self doubt they are having about their parenting
• develop action plans for addressing their areas of concern
• develop new ways of parenting their teens effectively
• discover new ways of connecting effectively with their teens
• eliminate sleepless nights and worries while Restoring Peace of Mind During the Teenage Years
Please call for a free Coaching Consultation: 774-245-7775
Does your teenager not follow though with your requests, not complete tasks or not follow though with general rules and standards of conduct that they used to adhere to? If so, your teenager is demonstrating some level of defiance. Defiance can mean noncompliance (not doing what is asked or following expectations) or resistance (blatantly challenging or opposing rules or expectations). In the moment resistance can feel much worse, however, over time both can be extremely frustrating and worrisome.
One of the questions I have been asked repeatedly by parents of teenagers is whether their teenager's behavior is "typical teenage behavior" or a real problem. This is a question that keeps parents up at night and causes them significant stress and worry (with good reason!). There is a distinction (although generally not completely clear) between typical teenage defiance and excessive defiance that may indicate a real problem.
Defiance can be verbal (yelling, whining, complaining, swearing, lying, arguing, insulting, crying, back talking, etc), physical (defying, throwing tantrums, running away, stealing, etc), aggressive (throwing things, destroying property, fighting, using weapons, cruelty towards others, breaking and entering, etc) or passive noncompliance (ignoring directions or requests, failing to complete chores or homework, ignoring basic day to day routines, etc). Your teenager's defiance may look like one or a mixture of these.
So, back to the question of whether your teen's defiance is normal or a real problem. The first thing you want to identify is whether your teenager's defiance is worse than most teenager's defiance. To assess this, answer the questions below with rarely, sometimes, often, very often:
During the last 6 months my teen has: 1. Lost his/her temper 2. Argued with adults 3. Actively refused to comply with rules or requests 4. Deliberately annoyed people 5. Blamed others for his/her mistakes or behaviors 6. Been touchy or easily annoyed by others 7. Been angry and resentful 8. Been spiteful or vindictive
If you had 4 or more questions with an answer of often or very often, your teenager is demonstrating more defiant behavior than the typical teenager. If you answered often or very often for two or three questions, your teenager is demonstrating slightly more defiant behavior than other teens.
Another factor you should examine is whether your teenager's defiant behavior is creating any impairment in their lives. In the following situations, rate how often your teen's defiance is creating impairment by answering rarely, sometimes, often, very often:
1. In home life with the family 2. In social interactions with peers 3. In school 4. In community activities 5. In sports, clubs, or other activities 6. In learning to take care of themselves 7. In play, leisure, or recreational activities 8. In handling daily chores or other responsibilities
A final factor you should examine is related to how much emotional distress your teenager's defiance is causing others. Emotional distress occurs when there are strong negative emotions which can include anger, sadness, depression, frustration, etc. Below, rate how your teen's behavior impacts your family's emotional distress by answering none, very little, moderate, a lot, or very much.
1. Emotional distress I feel 2. Emotional distress that my spouse feels 3. Emotional distress my other children feel
If you rated emotional distress as moderate or higher for at least one person in your home, your teen is likely demonstrating defiance that is above that of a typical teenager.
If you determine that your teenager's defiance may be above the "typical teen" threshold you can take steps to help this situation. Some communication techniques can be very helpful in such situations (see other newsletters / articles related to communication with teens) since in order for there to be defiance there needs to be at least two parties involved in the conflict. Sometimes professional help is necessary to help both with assessment and the treatment of whatever may be going on for your teenager. If your teen's defiance includes criminal activity, you should most definitely seek professional help. Finally, coaching can be helpful for parents who are looking for specific techniques they can use to change the patterns of behavior in their home. It is helpful to remember that your teenager could very well feel as miserable as you do when you are on the receiving end of their defiance. Most people don't like feeling like they are constantly in conflict or in trouble so learning some subtle ways of changing the dynamic in the home can reap very positive benefits for both you and your teen.
Much of the information for this article was taken from the book Your Defiant Teen: 10 Steps to Resolve Conflict and Rebuild Your Relationship, by Russell Barkley, PhD and Arthur Robin, PhD.
For more information on Life Coaching or coaching for parents please visit [http://elite-life-coaching.com] or email Karen@elite-life-coaching.com.
My name is Karen Vincent. I am a Certified Life Coach as well as a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker with a Masters Degree from Boston University. I have worked with teenagers / adolescents and their parents for the last 15 years in a variety of settings, including outpatient therapy, specialized schools, and in the home. I have developed and conducted numerous parenting classes and support workshops specific to parents of teens. I have also created and presented training for professional staff including teachers, therapists and counselors who work with adolescents in Massachusetts, Connecticut and in New York City. In my work, I partner with parents (usually through phone calls) who are experiencing difficulties in connecting with their teenage children and who are struggling to manage social, emotional or behavioral issues which arise during the teenage years. Through working with me, parents are able to:
• work through any self doubt they are having about their parenting
• develop action plans for addressing their areas of concern
• develop new ways of parenting their teens effectively
• discover new ways of connecting effectively with their teens
• eliminate sleepless nights and worries while Restoring Peace of Mind During the Teenage Years
Please call for a free Coaching Consultation: 774-245-7775
