Argue With Your Teenager

Introduction

Prepaid credit cards for teens have been increasing in popularity for a couple of years now, due to the many perceived benefits that they offer teenagers and parents alike. Prepaid credit cards can be used just like a credit card but only to the extent that they have been pre-loaded with cash.

It is impossible for a teenager to get into debt using a prepaid credit card and this is probably the biggest advantage of these types of cards. However this is not the whole story. As well as other advantages there are also disadvantages. This article details with all the issues in full so that you can make a fully informed choice as to whether these types of credit cards are for you.

The advantages of prepaid credit cards:

1) Teaches good money sense - as mentioned in the introduction because you cannot get into debt with this type of credit card it forces your teenager to budget and spend their money wisely. This is especially the case when the parent is in control of loading the card with more cash!

2) Stands them in good stead for real life - prepare your teenager for the future by giving them a prepaid credit card and let them practice for real life before letting them loose on their own as an adult "with the real thing".

3) On-line reporting - most prepaid credit cards provide website access to real-time reporting of transactions on the account. If you are a parent this can offer you real peace of mind, especially if your son of daughter is abroad for a prolonged period of time.

4) Generally available to all - most prepaid cards are available to all teenagers with few exceptions and you don't need to have an established credit history in order to apply.

5) If you should lose your card then it can normally be blocked from use once it has been reported to the relevant department. The limit of your liability only extends to the amount cash you have left prepaid on the card.

The disadvantages of prepaid credit cards:

1) Fees - there is a cost associated with owning a prepaid credit card. (Because the credit card company are not charging you interest they have to make a profit somehow!) When deciding which is the best card for you, look out for the following costs; application fees, monthly service charges, cash loading fees, cash withdrawal fees and account termination fees.

2) Encouragement of reckless spending - the critics argue that these cards tend to encourage teenagers to engage in "cashless spending" without due regard for what they can actually afford. This is of particular concern when parents regularly top-up cards without questioning what the money is being used for.

Conclusion

Prepaid credit cards for teens are an ideal solution for teaching your teenager how to manage their money before they go off to college for example. In my view the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages, particularly when the cards are used with a common sense approach.

It's eminently sensible to choose a prepaid card with low card service fees (application fees, pre-load fees and withdrawal fees etc.). Make sure you make good use of the many personal financial websites on the Internet to compare all of your options before committing to one credit card company in particular.

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Teenaged stepdaughters... a force to reckon with!

We were invited to our friends' house for Thanksgiving dinner. When we were getting ready to leave the house, my stepdaughter came out of her room wearing the WORST OUTFIT. It was edgy, ugly and provocative...everything I hated. I asked her to change her clothes into something more appropriate. She refused, saying, "I like this outfit, what's the matter with it?" Angry words back and forth followed. It ended with her refusal to change her clothes; her final shot at me was, "You can't control me!"

We ignored each other at the party, although I noticed that she was having fun with our friends and their kids. She was polite, talkative and quite charming. The next day my friend called to tell me how delightful my stepdaughter was. She couldn't understand how I struggled with her the way I did. I told her, "YOU don't have to raise her!"

My stepdaughter and I were struggling with three issues: 1) power and control, 2) loyalty issues between her mom, her dad and me, and 3) just normal adolescent behavior.

Power and control

I felt helpless and powerless over my stepdaughter. She was at the age where she didn't want to be controlled by anyone...least of all by me, her stepmother. The FORCE of her peer group was casting its spell, dictating to her how to look, what to think, how to behave and feel. When we'd argue, she'd insist, "I know what's right for me. It's MY life, and you can't tell me what to do!"

Loyalty

That said, paradoxically, teenagers are incredibly loyal to their biological parents as they grasp for their own identity and independence. When push comes to shove, it's Mom and Dad they run to for reassurance, sympathy, and scolding. They need their parents to push away from as well as to attach to. Teenagers are working overtime to figure out WHO AM I AND WHERE DO I FIT IN? That's what adolescence is all about.

I finally learned that I was not part of this biological, emotional bonding, and I got out of the way. I learned that I could be more beneficial to my stepdaughter if I was just an adult friend, a mentor, and a listening ear when she wanted to talk. That worked.

Adolescent developmental issues

When adults remarry during the time their kids are adolescents, they shouldn't expect a lot of bonding and attaching between generations because children this age just don't have it in them. They're breaking away from parental control. They're preparing to separate and establish their independence, after all. Once again, it's best for stepparents to befriend and mentor teenagers and leave the heavy-duty disciplining and parenting to the biological parents.

On a positive note, studies suggest that adolescents can often confide more in stepparents than they can with their biological parents during their vulnerable teen years. Kids can be more open and honest with stepparents if they can be heard with curiosity, neutrality...and wisdom.

How are you playing your cards with your teenaged stepchildren? Is it working... or do you need to step back and "draw again" for new feelings and behaviors?

Susan Wisdom, LPC

http://www.stepcoupling.com