Family Conflict and Divorce: How to Protect Your Kids From the Consequences

If you are considering divorce but still have to live with your spouse for now, you should remember the importance of not arguing in front of your kids. In fact, most kids who have to live with family conflict tend to suffer emotionally in various ways. If you want to avoid hurting your children's chances at success in life, you should learn how to deal with a spouse who insists on arguing. You should also find out how exactly family conflict affects the kids so you know what to watch out for.

How Do Children React to Conflict?

To your kids, you and your spouse are the people who love them most and are supposed to protect them. They feel safe with you, but when they see both their parents arguing, that feeling of security starts to slip away. This is especially true when fights get physical, whether you and your spouse hit each other or throw things.

Children can get stressed out easily when in the presence of arguments, no matter how old they are. Even babies tend to have a higher heart rate and blood pressure when their parents fight within earshot. They feel stressed and emotionally overwhelmed, which can cause a physical reaction, including clenched fists and crying. Slightly older kids who are potty-trained may react by having constant accidents.

School-aged children often react to family conflict by not being able to concentrate on their work. You may not notice at first, but their teachers usually will because test scores may plummet quickly. Kids who do not feel safe at home frequently feel too stressed to complete their homework or focus at all. Teenagers in particular not only do badly in school, but also turn to drugs and alcohol to deal with stress at home.

How to Avoid These Consequences

Of course, these facts do not mean that you can never bicker with your spouse without lasting consequences for your kids. But if you find that every day there is a new argument or even a physical fight with your spouse, it is probably time to consider divorce, or at least separate from each other while you decide what to do. Perhaps you already plan to get divorced, but have to live with your spouse for months or even years so that you have time to get on your feet. In fact, many couples these days have to wait for their home to build up equity before they can sell it and move away from each other.

However, this is no excuse to continue fighting in front of the kids. If you need to communicate with your spouse and know it will end up in an argument, you should either wait until you can both speak with your lawyers present, or wait until the kids are at school to talk. Counseling is another method of working out problems without bringing arguments home.

You need to provide a safe, stable environment for your children, and there is no way to do that with constant arguments. If you need additional ways to cope with communication problems, ask your divorce lawyer for assistance, for the sake of your kids.

Brian D. Perskin & Associates PC is a full service matrimonial law firm that handles family law and divorce cases. When you need help with equitable distribution, which includes pensions, real estate, business evaluations, enhanced earnings, child custody, maintenance, alimony/child support, prenuptial agreements, domestic violence, and other serious legal matters, we can get results. Contact us at so you can benefit from our team of family law professionals.

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Sex Education: Its Importance and Need in the Society

Sex Education, as the term clearly indicates, refers to education which is based on human sexual behavior. Parents, schools or caretakers offer it in some parts of the world to educate the children, who are stepping into their adolescence. If formally received, sex education is either taught as a full course at high school or junior high school level or in biology, health, home economics classes. Teaching sex education is rather a controversial issue; debates have been going on for several decades discussing if it should be taught formally in schools or not. Sex education in schools should exist without any doubts and apprehensions as it offers many benefits.

Adolescence is called the "age of storm and stress". The young teenagers, during this phase of life are under deep psychological pressure. Mainly, this psychological pressure is the result of one's growing sexual needs and the biological changes and hormonal effects on the individuals. During this time, most of the children are observed to become easily irritable. They find it difficult in most situations to deal with the family members. They might not want to talk to them about the natural changes taking place in their body and mind. In such circumstances, one highly suitable option is that of the teachers who are able to teach them to control their urges until a proper age. In schools, trained teachers would help the students to know how to deal with their sexual impulses. This role can not be replaced by parents or other entities. A classroom discussion and lesson would make them feel it is natural, and they would also feel that they are being understood by someone. However, taking them individually to psychologists or other trained educators would not help. In such a situation they might consider themselves to be different and misunderstood by family and people around them. Therefore, it becomes crystal clear that the best way to offer sex education is always in school.

It is a psychological phenomenon that children at young age are under an immense peer pressure. Something that they learn in the class with their peer group is what makes a better impression on their minds than otherwise. They are more focused in the lessons that teachers offer and are more eager asking question to clear their ambiguities. They might feel embarrassed and uneasy questioning their parents about it, but it always differs in case of the teacher in the class. This is because everyone in the class is going through the same stage. A class discussion becomes healthy source of learning as it helps in enhancing the knowledge on the subject.

Many people advocate that sex education should only be restricted to families, that is, that parents should personally educate their children. This view is totally illogical and holds complications and questions. The first point is that not all the parents would be willing to do it or would be able to do it. Secondly, this education needs a proper channel through which it should reach its required learners. There could be many possible problems in the families so they might not be able to take the role of a teacher in educating their children regarding sex. The demand of annulment of sex education from the schools is highly conservative.

Most importantly, there are many single parents, how would they take up this challenge of educating their children on their own? Parents can not properly educate their children about sex also because they lack details that qualified sex educators convey in schools. Thus, the stance of abolishing sex education in school is not a favorable thought. In many observed cases where parents or children are embarrassed about talking over sexual matters with each other, it is most likely to be uneasy situation at both the ends. This keeps the children from learning the answers to the questions they might have in their minds. This can be a great flaw of shifting the duty of sexual education from teachers to the parents. It will leave the children only half or less educated about the issue and as they say "Little knowledge is a dangerous thing", this might end up in grave situations.

According to research, most of the parents also feel uneasy because they know that they are not equipped to provide the apt sexual information to their children. They also fail to comprehend what details and information should be concealed and what should be revealed, keeping in mind their children's age. On the other hand, there might also be parents who would feel comfortable talking to their children about sexual matters, but only when the children bring the matter up.

Most parents, around the world, may also lack role models to look up to as they would not have talked over sexual issues with their own parents in their adolescent. This makes them inefficient to trigger their roles of educating their children in an effective way as the assigned teachers are able to do in schools.

Sex education is not limited to only a single branch of knowledge. This education focuses on a number of significant sexual matters that are offered with especially designed courses and programs. Sex education covers the education of relationships, sexual abstinence at a certain level and teaching to practice safe sex to the level of children who are thought to be sexually active. Therefore, its claim for being appropriate and guiding holds strong base.

At a certain age of adolescence, growing children have problems facing relationships and controlling their personal emotions. Conflicts related to such matters persuade many youngsters to commit suicides or take part in other immoral activities. Proper sex education in schools also concentrates in making the youngsters emotionally stronger and in educating ways to cope with relationship problems. This argument strongly shows the immense benefit of sex education in schools.

Sex education is an important health strategy and this cannot be denied. AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases can only be controlled if people are aware of precautions and have a vast knowledge in this case. This knowledge is conveyed through sex education, and if sex education is banned in schools and if parents have to educate their children, then it would not be as beneficial to the individuals and the society on the whole as teaching in school could be.

Sex education does not exist in all parts of the world. Asians are commonly regarded conservative when compared to westerners. It is not a part of their course in schools; this does not in any way mean that their teenage pregnancy rate is any lower if they are not exposed to sexual matters openly. In fact, this is one way how peers can mislead most of the youngsters and persuade them to bask in young age sexual relationships without any attempts for safety. This has resulted in serious problems such as the spread of fatal diseases like AIDS and has also increased rate of illegitimate births.

Researches have shown that the cause for ramification of STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) in the eras of 80s and 90s in the US and the UK is the lack of knowledge and information provided about sex in schools or home. Home and family has never and will never play an integral part in conveying sex education to teenagers, therefore to rely on the option of home, is to deceive your own self from the expected exigency in the future.

Some conservative groups assert that to discuss sexual issues openly is to devalue religion. No religion in the world abstain its followers from spreading the information that is so essential for human lives. Sexual behavior is natural and takes place through biological changes and this cannot be questioned as this is a part of human life. Thus people who take refuge under the religious shelter, to make their arguments strong, are misinterpreting religious ideas and laws.

Modern time is the time of internet and powerful media. Teenagers are exposed to Hollywood, TV and internet. These sources offer demonstration of sex which is highly thoughtless and casual; in this situation it is almost illogical to leave the teenagers on their sexual choices. They are young and fully excited; therefore they can not make a favorable choice. Sex education in school offers the information and knowledge they need to understand to know the responsibility that is accompanied by sexual relationships. The teacher in school helps the students to know the difference between a thoughtless and thoughtful sex. Having an urge for sex is not a problem; it is a natural process showing that the young people are developing to become adults; however the problem is having unsafe sex and hurting people through sexual choices.

People who claim that sex education in schools have more cons than pros, often come up with the statements suggesting that sex education in classroom should be avoided because the most effective tool for offering sex education, according to them is TV, films, magazines and media. Such people fail to understand that trained sex educators under especially designed programs teach sex education to children in schools. They are thus able to handle children's problems and clear their ambiguities in the best possible way, whereas magazines, films, TV and other channels and mediums of providing sex education are be reliable. They are most of the times urging the young people by encouraging their sexual promiscuity rather than effectively teaching and educating them. This wrong approach damages the society and the individuals in disguise of ameliorating them.

People contradicting the notion insist that sex education always makes the learners have sex and experience it personally, once they learn about it in school. The reality is that sexual urge for any human being is a natural occurrence. When children reach to a certain age, whether they find people to educated them about sex or not, they do have natural instincts about it, and therefore if provided a chance they would surely want to satisfy their urge. This natural reaction can not in any way be related to the outcome of sex education in schools. In fact, the best time for letting sex education play its role is when the sexual urge increases and the teenagers want to find a source for its satisfaction. It offers individuals with the required knowledge so that they are careful. It is only then that they understand the consequences of sex leading to child birth as well as sexually transmitted diseases. Thus sex education is basically a warning and a caution for such children who are stepping into the phase of life where they would need to know all this.

Some people who go against the topic also argue that even though sex education exists, it has still not decreased the rate of teenage pregnancies. I would rather not go deep in to the moral issue of the topic, but it is important here to discuss and point out the shortcomings of our society. Social values that insist that being single, pregnant and teenagers is fine, is what has to be changed. Through educating the children and making them aware that it is just not 'cool' to be pregnant when single or teenager, and just because 'others are also doing it' does not in any way justify their actions, this change can be achieved. There are many sexual education programs that teach the learners about the grave consequences that can result in having early sex. This type of sex education in schools is helpful and makes the learners responsible and mature enough to understand the difference between morality and immorality.

People, who are against the notion, repeatedly state the question that why sex education is given so much importance when there are also many other issues connected with juvenile delinquencies such as drugs, drinking and aggressive bullying. No doubt, there are also many other issues to consider important enough to be taught in school for awareness but psychological researches show that behind most of the juvenile behavioral problems, one main reason is always the active sexual urge which drives the young people to indulge themselves in harmful activities like drug abuse and alcoholism. It is also commonly observed that young teenagers who indulge into such activities are unaware of proper sex education. Once they are given a true picture of sex and its consequences their mental status relaxes and they are easily able to cope with other social taboos.

Parents, who believe that sex education pollutes the minds of their children, have in large number taken their children out of schools promoting sex education. In this process of instilling in their minds their religious and family values, they forget that the media, their children are largely exposed to can also lead them astray. Sex education in schools does not in any way offers them an invitation to have open sex by making them aware of the risks; it just educates them about the matter in the best way.

Apart from educating the students about safe sex, sex education in schools is also helpful as it helps students to learn proper terminology for reproductive system, STDs and birth contraceptives rather than the street lingo that is commonly used by laymen. Sex education classes are gender based and that is why the young learners are not embarrassed and are only taught what is related to their gender. Early inclusion of classes also helps the teenagers to either become abstinent for some time or to become responsible if they are already active. Therefore, many sexual problems that occur in adulthood can be controlled if effective and apt sex education is given at the right time.

A proper sex education which is holistic, nonjudgmental and comprehensive never misleads or misguides the teenagers. Such a curriculum should be imposed in all schools around the nation; it is an answer to many social problems and conflicts. Would any parent leave their kindergarten kids to walk alone on the streets without letting them know how to walk safely? No parent would actually do that, in the same way, letting your teenager children socialize with their peers and fellows without any proper sexual education is nothing contrary to the analogy mentioned above. It is hazardous and risky for their lives. Thus, proper sex education in schools should be encouraged so that they learn all the significant facts through trained teachers, who help and supports them in these matters of highly crucial value. Sex education should be taken as a positive aspect which promises healthier and better life for the youngsters. It therefore should be taken as a subject taught in schools to enhance knowledge on the subject matter; something merely as human anatomy or biology class. Sex education should be given in all schools to educate the children for their betterment, avoiding it will only result in emotional, social and health problems.

Read my book here whispers of my heart.

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Anemia in Adolescents

Adolescence is the most important phase of mental and physical growth. It is during the teenage years that adolescents will acquire a whole of knowledge and skill set that will help them become independent adults. However, for many young teenage girls and boys this may not be possible because of anemia.

Anemia is caused due to iron deficiency, which in turn can affect learning and development. Although anemia is more common in girls, boys too can develop it. Usually anemia occurs during adolescence when the teenagers experience growth. Usually menstruation is a major cause of anemia among teenage girls and this trend can continue into their adulthood. On the other hand, boys experience anemia and iron deficiency only during their teenage years when they are growing.

One of the major risk factors of anemia due to iron deficiency is experiencing heavy menstrual bleeding. Usually teenage girls do not have sufficient iron intake to compensate for the loss that occurs during menstruation. This is because they are more concerned about how they look and what they eat. In case you realize that your daughter is having heavy menstrual bleeding, it is best to get her tested for iron deficiency anemia.

One way to prevent anemia and iron deficiency is by inculcating good eating habits in teenagers. This means not skipping meals, dieting or only eating certain foods. Rather, teenagers should be taught to eat a lot of iron-rich food like green vegetables. Usually this habit should be taught from early childhood so that when your child becomes a teenager, you are not fighting and arguing over food with him or her.

Remember, iron deficiency can cause your teenager to do poorly at school. He or she can suffer from memory loss, show problems with verbal learning, have attention and alertness problems and end up getting low scores in math.

Pauline Go is an online leading expert in education & parenting. She also offers top quality articles like :
How Smoking Effect Environment,
Drinking & Driving Effects

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How to Motivate Teenagers

When it comes to motivating teenagers there are concepts that can be applied to just about all of them. At the same time it is important to account for different personality traits. We are all pretty familiar with the long list of teenage stereotypes. For example you have the bookworm, the nerd, the attention getter, the jock, the cheerleader, the weird one, the rebellious one, the popular one, and on and on.

There are other characteristics which are equally important to consider in terms of the type of person your teenager happens to be. Those characteristics will determine the best approach in how to motivate teenagers displaying them.

The Self-Starter

The self-starter is probably among the most desirable types of individuals. They are responsible and they take their responsibilities very seriously. When you have teenagers with this characteristic, you do not have to tell them the same thing over and over again. They tend to be self disciplined and comfortable working alone.

This is the kind of student that will come home and immediately get to work on homework assignments without being asked to do so. Why? Because he knows he needs to get his studies done before being allowed to do anything else. Your job here is simple: just recognized his accomplishments.

However you know just as much as I do not everyone fits this mold.

The Easily Distracted

This individual often times tries to be very popular. He wants to have lots of friends and knows a lot of people. He may even enjoy being the center of attention. He is likely to have a very active mind, very interested in all kinds of things. That curiosity will take him from one thing to another very easily.

This teenager is the easily distracted. For the parent it means being prepared to constantly remind him of what he needs to be doing. He has not yet learned how to focus his attention on one thing and stay with it until completion. He may start out pretty well but if something catches his attention he may drop the current task completely to chase after the distraction.

This teenager will require a lot of time and patience to help him develop good habits. You may find in working with him his particular interest. It is likely that it is the one thing he can focus on. As you instruct your teenager you may point this out to him. It will give him a concrete visual picture of what you're trying to convey.

The Master of Procrastination

A teenager who puts things off may mean well and sincerely intend to do the work, but just not right now. He tells himself he'll get around to it.

For the parent it means providing a lesson on what happens when you keep putting things off. You might search your memory for a personal experience that you can share. If you don't have one of your own you can share an illustration of what happens in his world.

Point out the outcome of not completing a homework assignment, or studying for a test. Putting those kinds of things off until later can mean that they never get done, or are done poorly.

The Lazy

The lazy teenager is clearly the opposite of the self-starter. It is probable that there is a reason behind the laziness. You as a parent will have to do some detective work to determine what that is.

Lazy teenagers generally don't see the relevance or importance of what they are called upon to do. They may even ask the question "What is the point?" When it comes to how to motivate teenagers with this characteristic you must carefully help them understand the relevance.

A teenager may complain that a particular subject is worthless. He may exclaim "Who cares about chemistry? I won't use that when I get out of school." Rather than argue you might begin pointing out the relevance of things by presenting a small challenge.

Ask your teenager to explain and describe to you what would happen if you suddenly stop doing the things you do? He may respond "Well, I don't know." Then you can point out something that he can immediately relate to: eating.

Tell him that you just decided that you don't understand the importance or the relevance of buying groceries.

Explain to him what life would be like in the household if you were lazy and didn't buy things to eat. Point out how there would be no junk food, no snacks, no dinner, no breakfast - nothing!

Then point out if everyone in the world was lazy nothing would get done. Point out how the garbage would pile up, or how there would not be any video games because everyone is too lazy to make them. Tell him there would not be any electricity or automobiles or anything else that we enjoy if everyone was lazy. Then ask if he now understands what you're trying to say? He is likely to concede he understands.

Reassure him that you love him and that you're not going to stop buying groceries. Then encourage him to see the value of being diligent and not being lazy.

No matter what characteristic your teenagers exhibit, always love, respect and care for them when you interact. Their memory of you as parents will hold that fact years into the future.

About the Author

Are you failing your teenagers? You are if you are not doing this one key thing. Among the "common problems" Lawrence T. Scott has reviewed, reaching our teenagers is among his favorites. Parenting teenagers is a real challenge in today's world and you must do everything you can to prepare them. Find out how you're probably failing your teenagers right now when you Visit =>

(C) Copyright - Lawrence T. Scott All Rights Reserved Worldwide

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The Parent's Toolkit - Rapport

There may be nothing more important in communication than rapport. This is especially true between parents and their adolescent children. Of course, rapport is important across the board, but adolescents are in particular need of adults and parents who can actually listen.

Listening is one of the key ingredients in building and maintaining rapport. It's not enough that a parent listens, however; the parent or adult must convey to the adolescent that they are being heard. This is accomplished through what is called "mirroring" and "paraphrasing." Simply stated, these two words mean the listener not only repeats what is heard but also in the tone that it was said while at the same time trying to convey the feelings expressed. For example, let's say a teenager says something like "you never listen to what I have to say, you don't care about me at all." A typical parental response might be "that's not true, I do care about you and I do listen to you." This is actually undermining the relationship by essentially telling the teenager they are lying. A much better response is "I hear you telling me that you think I never listen to you and that I don't care about you." The teenager will then respond by saying "ya, right" or they may adjust their statement. Either way, the parent has been supportive and has demonstrated they have heard what was said. Because the parent has only posed a statement, not a question or demand, there is actually no need for the teenager to respond; but, because of the ping-pong nature of communication, the teenager will respond.

Building rapport requires active listening; the listener needs to be sensitive to hearing words and phrases, tones and moods of the speaker which can then be repeated back to the speaker. This can be somewhat mechanical at first but with practice becomes flexible and fluid. It is an extremely effective method of communicating respect. It does not challenge the speaker, nor does it pose questions. It is merely a way of acknowledging what was said by the speaker. Yet, it paves the way for much more meaningful communication. Everyone wants to be heard. But few people know that they have been heard. By mirroring and paraphrasing, you let the speaker know you heard them.

Another example in the form of a transcript; the speaker is a teenager arguing with her mother about curfew

Teenager: I don't think I should have to be home by 11pm; why can't I come home at midnight?

Parent: I can hear that you are frustrated and that you want curfew to be midnight, not 11pm.

Teenager: right, so can I?

Parent: No, honey, not now; remember our agreement -- we said on your 16th birthday curfew will be midnight on weekends. You only have to wait another few months.

Teenager: That's so unfair! All my friends don't have to come home until midnight!"

Parent: I know you think it's unfair and I'm sorry you feel that way. You know, all your friends are already 16. That's why they have a later curfew.

Teenager: Can't we make an exception this one time?

Parent: I hear that you really want to stay out until midnight and that you'd like an exception this one time. But, that was not our agreement.

Teenager: I don't believe it! You just don't care about how I feel.

Parent: You think I don't care about how you feel

Teenager: you don't!

Parent: I don't

Teenager: No!

Parent: No, you really think I don't care about how you feel, right now. I hear you.

Teenager: Well, do you?

Parent: Care about how you feel? Of course I do

Teenager: Then why can't I stay out till midnight?

Parent: You think that if I care about how you feel, I will let you stay out till midnight?

Teenager: Ya

Parent: I care about how you feel, honey, and you can stay out till midnight on weekends when you turn 16 as we agreed.

Teenager: ohhhh, all......right.

When practicing mirroring and paraphrasing, parents needs to be patient and keep their cool. Adolescents can get emotional, illogical and irrational. But, they're teenagers, they have that prerogative. The parent is an adult and would, hopefully, act as one.

Ken Fields is a nationally certified, licensed mental health counselor. During the past 25 years, he has helped individuals, couples, families and groups address a variety of issues ranging from spiritual malaise to children with autism. He has been a crisis intervention counselor and an administrator at a human service agency. Currently, Mr. Fields provides communication coaching and online parent counseling at

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Homeschooling Lies Part 1 - Goodbye Supermom

There are many misconceptions about homeschooling, and parents who have taken on the task of teaching children at home are often confronted by people who have little knowledge on the subject and plenty of opinion. An educated debate on the pros and cons of homeschooling is all well and good and generally welcomed, but a lot of noisy criticism from people who know next to nothing and worse, have no desire to hear the truth, is frustrating. This makes it ever so important for moms and dads who homeschool to embrace their choice and stop believing the lies that are carelessly tossed around.

Staying home and teaching your children requires discipline and patience. This does not mean you will be the most disciplined, ever patient mother on the block. It means you need to work on these character traits the same every other mother. Parenting is a life long journey, one that challenges at every new stage. We are imperfect because we are parents.

3 Things to Let Go Of

A clean house
Having kids home all day means either cleaning all day or turning a blind eye to the sink full of dirty dishes. Dole out chores and make doing them a family requirement.
Perfect children

This won't happen even with the one on one attention and extra parenting they are receiving. They will be likeable with unique charm, but they will still argue, talk back, and complain. Expect better behaviour, teach it, live it and every day you will see more of it-with plenty of annoying and antagonistic antics mixed in.

Balanced Meal Times

Nutrition is good. Healthy meals are good. Making them every day and serving them on a set table as everyone gathers and shares their highs and lows also good. Expecting it to happen every day is a recipe for disappointment and burnout. Cherish the moments you gather as a family around the table understanding how precious that time is.

3 Things to Grab Hold Of

Laughter - Laugh at them, laugh at yourself, and laugh at all the things that come up throughout the day. Children have a unique sense of what is humorous, try to remember what it is like to be tickled so easily and join in the merriment. There are plenty of opportunities for laughter if you are willing to slow down and pay attention to all that is happening around you.

Simple pleasures - Snuggles on the couch in a stream of winter sunshine, quality conversation with your teenager, spontaneous dancing to an old song... there are so many moments to grasp hold of revel in. Take advantage of the extra pleasures being at home with your children affords you.

Milestones - Homeschooling is a gift of time, and intimacy. It is an up close and personal journey side by side with your children as they unlock the mysteries of the world and grow into adulthood. Mark the milestones as they come.

Say goodbye to any notion of being Supermom and enjoy the ups and downs, heartaches and headaches, joys and pleasures of homeschooling.

Karen Pasqualucci is a passionate (and opinionated) homeschooling mom! She has been homeschooling since 2001 and shares her discoveries and thoughts at her blog: where she would love to hear your questions, comments and feedback! Come on over and get the latest news on homeschooling! Come grab the first three chapters of her latest book - Secrets of Homeschool Success - for FREE!

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Helping Your Child to Finish Well

It's the beginning of June and only a few weeks until students will be facing a summer of leisure. For some, it will be the end of their formal academic life. Others will be preparing for exams and still others are at the beginning or middle of their rise in the system.

No matter what grade level they are at, the choices and behaviours of June will have consequences or rewards that can affect the rest of your child's life. The differences between passing and failing, average and excellence are not as large as people think.

As a parent, there are some things that you can help your child do so they end the school year well:

1. SLEEP - Tired minds and bodies under-perform. My dad used to say that an hour before midnight was worth two hours after midnight. Warmer weather should not be a reason to extend bed times when there are classes to attend in the morning. Many teenagers have difficulties getting up in the morning because they have spent long hours the night before on social media and internet sites. Help your child to wind down and get into bed at a reasonable hour and everyone will be a lot happier and more productive.

2. HEALTHY DIET - A good breakfast does not consist of Jalapeno chips and a Sprite. And skipping breakfast is never a good option. The brain is just like a gas tank. When there is good fuel, the body and the vehicle can function well. Very few children will refuse to eat healthy food that is prepared for them especially if it is shared with someone who they know cares about them.

3. POSITIVE ENVIRONMENT - Research has indicated that conflict is very detrimental for children. Yelling, arguing and friction in the family can be very negative and lead to depression in children. Silence with underlying tension can be just as bad. Children need peace and encouragement so that they can focus on the things that they need to do and be able to do them well.

4. ATTENDANCE - Much of the learning in schools is verbal. When a child is on time and pays attention during class, s/he can earn good marks. Absenteeism is a threat to success and children should therefore never miss school unless they are seriously ill.

5. KNOWING WHAT IS EXPECTED - The reason that children are in a school setting is so that they can learn things that they don't already know. If they don't understand directions, think a deadline is not important or believe that their performance doesn't matter, they will likely face disappointment and embarrassment when reality sets in. When children are ignorant about what needs to be done or confused you can contact the teacher or see if the needed information is on the school website.

6. STUDY - It only takes a few minutes to review a spelling list or memorize important dates in history. In fact, it is amazing how much a person can learn in only a few days. But year-end study is not about learning new material. It is just reinforcing the learning that has been going on all year. Even a few minutes of focussed study a day can increase a grade by several marks. If you, as a parent, do not feel that you are strong in a subject, find someone who can help your child. Perhaps you have a friend who excels in math, a sister who can review science notes or a grandma who would explain a health or social studies unit.

As a parent you are not completely responsible for the grades that your child earns but I'm sure that you would like your child to do well. Follow the tips in this article and I'm sure that you, your child and the school will be very pleased with the results!

And now I would like to invite you to claim your Free Instant Access to a complimentary list of 10 Steps to Making Your Life an Adventure when you visit

From Dr. Linda Hancock, Registered Psychologist and Registered Social Worker

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Things to Bring Your Ex-Boyfriend Back, Even If He Is Not Willing To Contact You

How will I be able to be with my ex-boyfriend again? This is a question, which most of the teenagers and young adults have in their mind. Even though, several "how to" techniques are being advised, many of them may be irrelevant. By the time, you employ these techniques; you would have lost him completely, to someone else. What happens with the majority of youngsters is that, they are emotionally instable, and are unable to tackle such an emotional dilemma. Apart from that, most of the tips and advises on this topic follow the rule of "no contact" with your ex- boyfriend. By doing so, girls with a broken heart are trying to patch up things, by giving time and space for their ex-boyfriends to get adjusted with the resultant modifications in life. However, sometimes, this results in disasters.

While ample time and space are being provided to him, it is not an assurance they will come back to you. Girls keep waiting; but the truth is, the no contact rule makes him start a new life, where you are not a part. On the contrary, if you are not willing to follow the "no contact" rule enforced upon you, this may create an irritability nature in him towards you. So, you are forced to being in no contact with him, until he is ready for it. The worst thing about this is the uncertainty in waiting for his decision for a patch up.

Below are some techniques that will of great help:-

Technique 1: Do not argue

Do listen to him carefully, when he speaks. Take care not to argue with him when he decides to stay away from you, as arguing may raise his temperament. Calm down! Think twice prior to taking the final step.

Technique 2: Follow his no contact rule

Perhaps, the reason why he got separated from you may be due to the closed-in feeling that he got in your relationship. So, grant him his freedom. Once he realizes that, he has committed a mistake, he will surely come back to you, as he may start missing you and your thoughts. Meanwhile, you are getting a chance to enjoy your life as well.

Technique 3: Try not to acknowledge him

Since, you are obeying his no contact rule, doesn't mean that you should avoid visiting places that he may consider visiting. You have freedom of choice. However, in case, you meet up with him at a common social function, try not to acknowledge him. Even though, it sounds harsh, this will make him realize that he should reconsider your relationship. In due course time, try reminding him of the things that he is missing by avoiding you. Once realized, you can be as natural as before.

Technique 4: Act casual and sensible

Once he realizes that you are not emotionally weak, and being separated from him doesn't make any difference to you, he will surely come back to you. When, such a moment arises, he will take initiative to talk to you; you should act casual and sensible. It's evident that you are dying to talk to him; but you should conceal it from him. Finally, you can allot him a chance to relive your lost relationship. Hence, the spark in the lost relationship strikes again.

These four techniques will assist you in getting constructive ideas on getting your ex-boyfriend back, rather than destructive ideas, which may permanently ruin your love life. It might happen that; in no time, the temporary no contact rule may become a permanent no contact rule.

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Is Sunday School Relevant For Children?

The way we gather and scatter as a Church (in North America, specifically), what we emphasize and what we lean into, is all changing. This isn't the first time; this isn't the last time, and I would argue that this process is normal and it is what we should expect to happen. People who gather and become a local church, bring history, biases, expectations, and uncertainties. People bring their gifts and their needs; they bring their strengths and weaknesses and all of this comes together to build a local church community. Communities can build a system of doing community after a while; it's not that this is always a negative thing, but it can be. Good things left on the counter too long become stale and unpalatable.

Human nature, being what it is, always seems to seek the comfortable leveling point; and that can level a church; it happens all the time. That's why "reformers" sound the call again and again: Church, discover again your Mission.

I am involved as a volunteer leader in working with children in a local church gathering; but I have my eye on what is going on in the larger picture of the Church these days and I am asking myself, what does this mean for children's programs? In the bigger picture of the Church we are re-evaluating all kinds of ideologies and methodologies, is Sunday School on a Sunday morning still relevant? What do I need to be thinking about?

Here are 5 observations about Sunday School in my own context:

1. Sunday School on a church campus is relevant because it still "works."

When it comes to reaching children who don't know Jesus, I think Sunday School on a Sunday morning still "works" because it is still known. Many adults are familiar with Sunday School because they have had some kind of contact with it in the past. As children, they may be been dropped off for a time by a parent; they may have gone once or twice with a friend; churches have always had programs for children and people in the community are usually aware that they do. When children begin to have questions about God, parents who feel these questions are important and don't object to a child learning about God, often turn to the outside source of a Sunday School to help them with answering questions that they might not be able to answer.

If this is true, then I need to keep waving the flag: this is important. The 40 or so Sundays (not counting summer) we have with an often-rotating group of children really matter. Their experience in a Sunday School setting may be their first impression and their last impression (for some time at least) of what Jesus "looks like."


Are we counting on people finding us or are we as individuals a light in our community, such that people are curious about who and what is relevant to us? Sunday School may be held in a location, but we should not be held to a location. It isn't all about setting a table and hoping children will come. It's about knowing first and inviting them to be a part of something bigger.

2. Sunday School is still relevant because it helps parents.

I don't mean that Sunday School helps parents because they can drop their kids off and get a break from parenting; that is exactly opposite to what I mean. Sunday School partners with parents in translating the truths of the Bible for their children. We don't live in a time when we can assume people know quite a bit about Jesus. We live in a time when people hardly know anything about Jesus. Putting our arms around families and helping them figure out what faith means and what it looks like to walk "the narrow road" is part of the vital mission of Sunday School.

There are other ways to do this through cross-generational ministries, but in the end, quite a bit of it ends up looking a lot like Sunday School.


Are we actually helping parents? We can if we make that a priority. Sunday School can't just be about feeding kids and sending them home; it has to be, somewhere in there, about helping one another, help one another. Instead of teaching children how to read their Bibles and reflect on it personally, for example, why not have parents join you and learn it all together?

3. Sunday School on a church campus is more relevant than ever because it may feel more like home to children than home.

When are you at home these days? I think there is something in all of us that longs for the ideal of "home" but this ideal is quickly becoming, or maybe it is already, an illusion. I am not sure who is walking through your Sunday School doors, but I am quite certain there are some little broken hearts already.

This struck me quite profoundly one day when a little girl, began to be a part of our Sunday School community. She is 6 and she has never known "home." She has been shifted from one environment to another. She loves coming on Sunday; you would never know she had a care in the world with the smile that is a fixture on her face all morning. She is the first one to come, and the last to leave. Something just whispered to me one day that it's because this feels like home to her.

As representatives of Christ in our neighborhoods, we already need to be an open door for children to see Jesus in action. Sunday School gives children a sense of a wider community of like-minded individuals; an extended family.

Sunday School can't fix everything that is going wrong in a child's world, but we can be something wholesome, loving, consistent, accepting...well, we can be Jesus to a group of kids, once a week.


Are we thinking enough about the children who walk through our doors, or is it a sea of faces? The child who is continually disruptive; are we wondering what is going on in his head and heart? A home is a place where individuals matter. When one is hurting or wayward, the rest of the family gathers around to help that little lost or hurting one. Are we thinking enough about making children feel at "home"?

4. Sunday School is very relevant today because it is a place where we get to talk about what's important.

Parents and friends who bring children to Sunday School, and the children who come, all know why they are there. We need no disclaimers; we are there to talk about the most important thing we ever can: the redeeming Grace Gift of Jesus Christ; the unquenchable love of our God; the value He has placed on every head and the purpose He has for every life.

Setting aside a time for "Sunday School," resourcing it, supporting it is absolutely still important because it is a support platform for conversations that are already happening during the week. If a child has permission to come, we have permission to teach what is pure, right, lovely, truthful, and noble.


Time is of the essence! What are we teaching the children we have for one hour? Not everything needs to be taught; think about it. If you have 40 Sundays (that's not counting the summer), how many times will that child actually be at Sunday School? Of those times, what does he/she absolutely need to know? I know there is a whole Bible, but we can't possibly teach everything in it with 40 hours (in an ideal world) a year. So what is it? What do they need to carry with them into the next phase of their life?

Also, while pouring all our best ideas into our lessons, employing all sorts of great creativity, are we losing the actual lesson? Some curriculum being offered is confusing to me. Why are we reading that verse? What does that activity have to do with this? As adults, we may think thematically, but kids aren't always great with symbols. They need to be told and told again, clearly, memorably, the "thing" we believe they need to know.

5. Sunday school is relevant because it is an opportunity to shape the Church to come.

If we can help children understand that they are not takers but givers in God's plan; if we can plant seeds that they all have gifts that are meant to be used for a greater purpose; if we can show them that "yes, people will disappoint you sometimes, because we all sin. So be a forgiver, and keep your eyes on Jesus," then maybe they will grow into teens and adults who will be less about consuming and more about finding what they were meant to do on this planet, and doing it.


For children, learning to serve at an early age sets them up for a healthier mindset in the days to come. Children who think it is perfectly normal to give of their "time, treasure, and talents" grow up to be generous teenagers and more generous adults. Why aren't we placing more emphasis on this. When we have self-serving adults in our church, haven't we created them by putting a spoon to their mouth all along? Children have gifts also; are we tapping into those gifts or do children think they need to wait in order to use them?

I don't think enough attention has been given to this fifth point. Even in our leadership structures, we create schedules for volunteers to plug into and once those are full, it's a free ride for everyone else. The picture we paint is, "It has all been taken care of." We don't work hard enough to foster an environment of participation and responsibility. We quickly fill in holes when there are some, rather than letting the need become an opportunity.

There is a place for hiring staff to help equip volunteer leaders and cover areas that a volunteer, with limited hours to give, can cover. But when it appears that everything is just running smoothly, we again become a service package for people to purchase.

I believe Jesus calls us as adults to clear the way for children to have unhindered access to Him. I believe Sunday Schools still play an important role in this; but we, like the rest of the Church, must ask ourselves if we are actually on Mission, or not. We must make the effort to work "in team" and ask each other good questions about what we are doing week to week.

There may be things we need to stop doing. There may be things we need to start doing. We may be afraid of change; we may think we don't have the people to bring change; we may wonder if we have the gifts and the ability to do a good job of a good Sunday School program; and, given our budget, we may wonder what we can even pull off. If these are the things running through our minds, we are probably on the right track, because in the middle of those questions, that is where God seems to do His best work.

-- Teresa Klassen.

Teresa Klassen is a volunteer children's ministry leader working with a volunteer team in Kelowna, British Columbia. If you are looking for free Sunday school lessons and ideas free Sunday school lessons and ideas, please visit

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