Argue With Your Teenager

Martin Luther King made a difference! So did Oskar Schindler and Florence Nightingale. These were amazing people, but even though their stories are so magnificently encouraging, we know that they were not alone. Hundreds of people in our history dared to make a difference, to pioneer an idea or a thought, that no one else had the courage to do.
Though it is possible for our kids to make such grand contributions to the lives of many, they may never be internationally recognised for it. I am referring to something quite mundane, simple and safe - helping to save our planet.



People who don't recycle, reduce their waste, or reuse what they can, use the excuse that not every one does, therefore, they argue that what little they can do won't make such a big difference after all. They do not believe that it's their responsibility to help save the planet, because whatever they could do, would be so small, it wouldn't matter anyway. But we all know how wrong this is, don't we?



Teaching our children that they are responsible for helping to save the world, gives them a sense of importance. (This is a good thing). It teaches them that they CAN make a difference, either as one singular person, or as part of a group. It helps them to understand that there are consequences for what we do, and that more often than not, these consequences affect other people.



The kids I work with think nothing of peeling the wrapper off a chocolate bar and dropping it wherever they are standing or sitting. They become indignant and swear at me if I ask them to pick it up. They have no sense of responsibility for their own litter. They do not understand that if we each pick up the can we drank from, there would be no cans at all hanging around. They do not understand this, maybe because they were never taught.



Our children need to understand that it is everyone's responsibility to save the planet we live in. The only way to do this is to get them involved in recycling from a very early age. This then becomes their way of life, something as normal as doing the shopping. Let them be the ones to sort out the plastics, bottles, cardboards etc. Take them to the recycling bank and let them actually put the items in the recycling units. Of course it would be more convenient and quicker to just do it ourselves, but this does not give our kids the pride of knowing that they are part of this vital, world-wide movement.



Get them involved also, in reducing the waste they contribute to the world, and reusing whenever possible.



Involving our kids this way, develops in them, the responsibility that we all should bear. They are less likely to grow up into teenagers and adults, who are so buried in anti-social behaviour, that they cannot understand that our actions affect our neighbours, our street, the country, the universe. This awareness will have been cultivated from an early age, and they would grow up with an already inbuilt sense of positive attitudes and social awareness.

What other crucial world-wide movement could our kids to get involved in, if it isn't recycling to help save our planet.

Our kids' biggest complaint while growing up was that they had to share a bedroom. Since we have two boys and two girls, I saw sharing as a perfect and natural arrangement... two bedrooms... two in each.

They dreamed of the day when they would have a bedroom to call their own...

"If I had my own room I could listen to my favorite music all night."

"If I had my own room I could read mysteries all night."

"I want my own room so I can have the closet to myself."

"I want my own room so I can have privacy when my friends come over."

So when we decided to build a house, of course, their #1 request was for individual bedrooms. I didn't make any promises, but secretly thought it would make for smoother family life if the house we built had enough bedrooms for each child.

There would be no more arguing about who was the Messy One. I would hear no more shouts to "Turn off the light!" or threats against those crossing the line marking ". . . my side of the room!"

I would no longer have to stand at the bottom of the stairs and yell for everyone to "BE QUIET and GO TO SLEEP!"

When we finalized the house plans, there were enough bedrooms to eliminate sharing. Throughout construction our children talked endlessly about the possibilities and how "once and for all" it would finally be proven that "She was the Messy One--not me!"

The first thing I noticed after moving into our new home was that the messiness was evenly distributed. Then, I noticed that the boys, whose bedrooms faced each other, kept their doors open all night so they could talk to each other.

After we had been in our home several days I went to kiss the girls goodnight. Our oldest daughter wasn't in her room. When I looked in our youngest daughter's bedroom I found them both settled in there... together on the bed. "What are you guys doing?"

Giggling, they answered, "We're having a sleep-over!" They have since had many such sleep-overs.

We've been in our home several years now and I had forgotten all this until yesterday when my daughter and I were hiking and talking. She said she was glad that she and her sister are such good friends. I wondered how that came to be, because I remembered some of their battles with each other.

She answered, "I think it's because we shared a bedroom all those years. We would argue during the day, but once we were in bed with the lights out, we told stories and laughed and talked about our day and the people we knew. We gave each other back rubs and foot rubs."

She concluded, "I think it was during those times that we really bonded."

I wish now that I could go back to those days in our smaller home and change my call from the bottom of the stairs to, "Talk, laugh--don't worry about sleep! You will cherish this friendship the rest of your life."

See Celebrating Motherhood for helps in building strong mother and child bonds & attachment [http://celebratingmotherhood.com/about] as well as other parenting tips and encouragement.

Also enjoy a humorous look at the struggles that come with the celebration!