Effective Parenting - Setting Limits For Teenagers

The single most effective parenting tip I can give you is setting limits for teenagers, followed up with consequences.

It's simple, your teenager needs and wants limits in his life. Oh sure, he'll constantly be pushing on those boundaries, but they give structure to his life. Like how late he can stay out. Or not to curse at his parents. Or even not to drink alcohol.

Limits have been part of his life as he was growing up. Like sharing with others, putting away his toys and washing his hands before eating. As he grows, his limits become different and more serious, but just as important.

He sees limits all around him. At school, on the bus and even at the store. He can't do just anything that he wants. He has to follow the rules to get along. He knows the rules are in place, just as he knows that some kids don't respect them at all.

It's your job to make sure that your child respects society's limits as well as your own limits that you set for him. You need to be his goal post that says how far he can push things. And he will try to push past your goal post, have no doubt. But when he does, make sure that you are ready with a consequence.

Consequences are simply the reactions that occur when he steps over the line. If he argues with his siblings, he spends time in his room. If he comes home late, he comes in earlier the next night. If he doesn't do his homework, he doesn't go out on the weekend.

You've got to be ready with consequences for your child, whether he breaks your boundaries, the rules set out at school's rules or just regular norms of society. Knowing that you are there with a consequence actually acts as a deterrent for most teenagers and keeps them in line. But you've got to be ready to carry out the consequence if he crosses the line.

A lot of people have trouble confusing consequences with punishment and oftentimes get it wrong. I've created a video that points out the number one mistake parents make when applying consequences.

Do you really want your teenager to respect you and your limits? If you are really interested in effective parenting, check out my video. You'll learn that setting limits for teenagers that are supported by consequences will set you on the right path.

Anthony Kane, MD is a physician and international lecturer who has been helping parents of children with ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder online since 2003. Get help with Oppositional Defiant Disorder child behavior help with defiant teens ADHD treatment and ADHD. Check out our Free video if you are really interested in effective parenting

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