It is sad to think the young celebrities who have recently made headlines because of their drugs and the abuse of alcohol, the adverbial antics and lack of respect for the company. They tend to blame those around them and the system of justice because they faced imprisonment or ordered into rehabilitation. It seems fairly clear that these people have not been held accountable for their actions for so long that they have begun to believe that they have the right to do what he pleases.
I was part of discussions where some people accuse the adolescent or young adult of their choice then that other officials permissiveness that they gave their children since birth, parents. It is difficult to find where the problem because sometimes difficult adolescence are large houses large adolescents can come from troubled homes. And we know all the families with several children, of whom each is totally different from the other despite the environnement share. Some things are just a mystery! There are three attitudes have become very frequent in the last years of our society which I think have interfered with the development of what could be parent-child relationships in good health for some.
The first is that many parents want to be "friends" with their child or children. Over the years, some women have told me that they had a child because they felt loved, rejected or lonely and thought that a child would fill the needs that the adults do not have satisfied for them in the past. Other parents have the idea that a child is like a beautiful doll they can place it on a tray to admire and then back to dress and to show family and friends. Still others deal with their children and friends who want to not upset or lose.
Children rarely meet the deepest needs of the parent and even if they do, an unhealthy situation may result. When a parent imposes the need to be "friends" over the need for parent of the child in a responsible manner, the whole dynamic is affected. God placed the children for children's needs will be met by parents - not the other way around. Second, the youth of today seem to have a notion of "ours". They think that what belongs to the parent company is "ours". I remember a friend of my son who was sought for a car and argued: "but Dad, we are rich." His father response was "no son, I am rich." You're poor. »
When children think that they have to work for nothing, they are not motivated to develop skills, use creativity to make discretionary money for their "desires" or plan a career that will enhance their future. Several times, I see the anguish of parents with adult children still living at home because they do not believe that they need to develop independence in good health. Some have careers where they actually earn more than the parents enjoyed but "free support" not only for themselves but sometimes even for their partners and their children. Third, sometimes children have a sense of "right" where they think that the world owes not only life, but a luxurious way of life. Their mentality is that they deserve respect but that they do not have to give or to win it. If the application to simple household tasks they say that it is their house and parents do not have the right to ask to clean up. Teachers who give low marks for poor quality work are criticized by the child as being "incompetent" or "unfair". When they arrive in a courtroom for breaking the law, adolescents are dismayed the nerve of the police or the judge for the cause of the problems for them.
Often the parents ask advice on raising their troubled teens, and I tell them that it is perfectly acceptable and necessary to have and to enforce family rules that teach responsibility in a healthy manner. It will not harm a child to take a part-time job as long as it doesn't interfere with the work of the school (which is the primary child "job"). Seeking to be "friend" your child will interfere with your ability to parent properly and, as a child model, you will need to demonstrate consistency, maturity and responsibility that you want to emulate. Finally, if the child or the young person does not comply, take account of what is done when a country invades another. The first task is to "bomb supply. Allowances, cell phones and computers are not a "rite of passage" and can be removed to children or adolescents are not what is expected of them.
"" It is not easy to raise children and adolescents - especially if you did not previously or had training and is not an exact formula to ensure that a child "will reveal" well. However, there are techniques and guidelines that will help the task of raising healthy, responsible children.
If you are struggling in the area of parenting, talk with a psychologist might help to get things on track for you and your family. And remember, it is not the weakness to ask for help - it is a weakness not way to ask!
And now, I would like to invite you to claim your free instant access to a complementary list of 10 steps to make your life an adventure when you visit http://www.lindahancockspeaks.com
Dr. Linda Hancock, psychologist, registered and registered Social worker
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