Defiant Teenagers - How to Handle an Out of Control Teen

How do I handle my defiant teenagers?

First off, I want to say that I understand what you're going through. You have defiant teenagers who just keep arguing and fighting against you. You feel hopelessly lost and you want to find some way to help you get closer to your kids...

You're not alone. Almost every parent has to deal with defiant teenagers at one point in their life. Some handle it beautifully, and some... well you get the idea. Either way, we want what's best for our kids and watching them act the way they do hurts us. No matter how hard we try to create a relationship with our kids, it seems like it only pushes them away and that is exactly what we don't want.

Realize that you are more than likely doing more right things as a parent than bad. A lot of parents will condemn themselves because of what their kids are doing. Realize that you have most of it right, but there is that 10% of things you can change that will drastically change your teen's behavior. Some of the biggest problems that separate us from our defiant teenagers is when we are in the middle of arguing over something that is usually silly. We seem to lose control of our emotions and yell back at our children, thinking that raising our voice will make them listen more, but it only feeds their rebellious attitude. In the middle of a situation (or even out of one), here are some tips that will help you out:

Remain calm and control your emotions - Just by staying calm will already give you the upper hand. Defiant teenagers feed off your feelings of anger and lack of control. If there are no feelings for them to feed off of, it will significantly lower the situation.
Know that it's okay to discipline your kids - Too many parents are scared to ground their child, thinking that it will only worsen the relationship, but instead it will train your defiant teenagers that negative actions come with negative consequences. That is the way it is with life, so they must learn now before it they get hit hard when they go out in the real world. They will also respect you more, because you won't allow disrespect.
Don't forget to reward positive actions - Negative actions require negative consequences, but don't forget to give rewards to positive actions. If they do something that you are happy and proud of, treat them to a dessert or go take them out to watch a movie. Kids want to spend time with their family. They want that love from us and they want us to look at them and be proud of them. Most defiant teenagers are that way because they don't think they can ever be what we want them to be so they kind of just give up and don't even try. If we show them that we love them no matter what, then we'll definitely see some results.

Put these tips into action and see your defiant teenagers become more respectful and loving in no time. Teenagers want us as parents to be there, even when we don't see it. We have to be there for them, but make sure they realize that there are consequences if they get out of line.

There are many other tips and steps that you should take to fully see your defiant teenagers become the kids that you've always wanted. You don't have to spend an arm and a leg to find the right programs out there to help you out. I would recommend a program that has never failed anyone when trying to help with their child. I've seen it help others and I would highly suggest it if you really want to see results and see your defiant teenagers change forever. It's called "My Out of Control Teen", and it's very cheap.

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