Why Are Teenagers Most Affected By Family Breakup?

Teens are often ignored when the family breaks up. Actually, teenagers need the most support at this emotionally volatile time. They will be vulnerable to acting out with drugs, alcohol, sex, and crime. Teenagers are growing and maturing into young adults, but they are still more aged on the outside than on the inside. They will need plenty of tender loving care (TLC) during this difficult time for the family.

Being a teenager is difficult enough as these maturing adults are attempting to define new boundaries of independence and family participation. They are learning to drive and keeping up with hectic schedules with school, work, and extra-curricular activities at school. Their social status among their peers can be a huge pressure. If they do not have emotional support from home, they are the most likely of your children to be influenced by the wrong crowd.

Some teens take the blame for the breakup of the family and burden themselves with perfectionism. They may think they can keep their parents together if they get straight As at school, keep their rooms perfectly clean, stay out of trouble at school or at home, or think a myriad other "perfect" things to do to meet this dysfunction. Boys suffer most from an absent father between 16-18 years of age says psychologist Judith Wallerstein.

Young males need their dads to be loving role models of healthy manhood. Male bonding is good for men of all ages. Without proper role modeling, young men can become victims of their childhood instead of successful and happy fathers and husbands. Everyone has fantasies. But children in the middle of a family breakup, fantasize about their parents getting back together.

Movie producers have even made money making movies about this family tragedy. Kids will make deals with God if He'll bring their parents back together again. When kids are caught in the middle between two divorced or separated parents, it is common for them to feel guilty. They ask themselves what they did that was wrong. They want to know what they did to cause the breakup.

Some parents give their kids the third degree to get information on the other parent. This is self-defeating as so much can be misinterpreted and that is totally unfair to everyone. Children of divorcees should not be treated as message bearers. It is absolutely up to the adults to do the communicating. That indeed sounds like doing something better now that the adults are divorced and living apart than they did when married and living together. An anomaly, for sure.

Children of divorced parents consistently exposed to parental arguments at visiting will definitely suffer. Time for sharing feelings and arguing should have limits and special places set aside. loyalty issues-choose being with friends or family angry about new rules manipulate one parent or both.

Robyn Ball has been working online since 2008. She writes about Parenting, Blended Family Issues, Dyslexia, Autism, and Child Development on her blog. Go to: http://www.forchildcustody.com and make yourself at home.